If I could, I would post as me, Withdraw. I was there in 86, it was horrible. We all know that, so I won't go over that again.. I layed it on pretty hard to your other staff friend.. and I would have done the same to you, had I not come to realize, I am done with letting you fuckers hurt me! I am no longer sitting inbetween the biggest girls in group -ie, YOU could have placed me there even..YOU, you personally. But whatever, I didn't let you or any of them break me. I never complied or even lied to you all for that matter. I didn't have any drug problem and knew I didn't belong there. I was on Day Zero for 6.5 months. I never made it off Day Zero. You personally have walked by me gasping for air, laying on the floor, bleeding with Allison W. et all holding me to the floor. I hate you all for it, all of you who entertained the thought of compliance to that crazy place.
But I know you are not those people anymore, I know none of you wanted to do those things or even allow those things ~out of complacency and "working your program". fact is I no longer care why you did any of it, or who did what or who owes who, etc.. I care about not allowing it to happen to children anymore. Just look at what it created in all of us, We are diffrent, we think diffrent then everyone who wasn't in a St8 like program. We all know it too. And we respond like it, all of us. Even me, who never even complied. They still got in my head, like some kind of dis-ease.. So it is for that reason, I accept what happened and all who played their role. Again, there is a common ground we all walk on, all of us.
This could sorta be like group, except one part! I can say w/e I want. I can speak period.(on day zero, you werent allowed to speak , except when addressed by staff) I CAN SPEAK HERE! and NO ONE will throw me to the floor, and no one WILL JUST WALK BY, like nothing is wrong. I can finally say all the stuff I thought about while I was forced silent for 6.5 months, and boy have I done my share of being pissed off by anyone who was on staff and thought for one minute they were helping kids. I can finally ask, How the hell did you convince yourself it was morally ok to throw kids to the ground for not facing forward or motivating! How was it, you let me sit there for 6.5 months in silence, except when I was being restrained..which was almost daily?
See, it's not like group, because, I can say all that and you know what... I am not bleeding, I am still sitting in my chair, and no one is effing touching me...forcing their will on me. So newp, this isn't group at all :smokin:
