Stoughton - A question for "Staff/Old Comers"

[Anonymous]

Paul was your skin always kinda red and lightish colored hair? just curious

[Nonconformistlaw]

On 2006-02-07 10:48:00, Paul_Meyer wrote:

"NonconformistLaw,

I respect your right to rant about your experience. I'll believe you when you do.

I respect your right to rant about anyone who you personally witnessed being cruel, inhumane or worse.  It happened.  

It's the third party stuff I don't understand.  

Do you respect the right of anyone, to say anything about anyone else on these forums?  I know it's the first amendment and all.  I believe we have the right, but that doesn't make it the correct thing to do.

I don't know if passing along a story from this guy, who knows this other guy, who heard this girl say that someone else did this awful thing.  Hence my reference to "urban legend"."

Well, unfortunately there is plenty of documentation regarding the Semblers, Miller Newton, and various other executive staff, so I have no problem when people rant about them even if they never met them. For example, I have bitched about Miller Newton even though I never 'witnessed' his cruelty personally. Case in point....read chapter 2 of the Great Drug War and other documentation found on the web concerning the above mentioned individuals.

But mostly I bitch about those I remember and any who were on executive staff whether I remember them or not. But by reading through the posts on this forum.....how on earth can you jump to the conclusion that posters are merely ranting about "hearsay" so to speak (urban legend as you call it)? Since its impossible to tell, I wouldnt consider making an issue out of it unless I know the facts first. But even if someone is bitching unjustly, that is their choice. I'm not gonna tell 'em what to do. For the record, I have shared information about other's experiences (w/o mentioning names) with my father, to help him understand how he got sucked into Straight's deceitful web and to help him realize our experience with straight was not unique....and I have no problem if this inadvertantly spreads the 'urban legend' of straight. As far as I'm concerned...its just a peice of the truth about straight.

Also, whether I agree with your views or not....I am always anxious to hear a former staff member's perspective, in hopes that I gain a better understanding of what I personally endured in straight, and to get a clearer perspective of the "big picture" of all the straights.

[Dr. Miller Newton]

For example, I have bitched about Miller Newton even though I never 'witnessed' his cruelty personally.

Cruelty? .  :flame:  :flame:  :flame: :skull:  :skull:

That was TOUGH LOVE, damn you!!!

[Anonymous]

paul paul,paul,...
i went up there with more real sobriety under my belt than any of you....i did some unorthodox things,but it never made me put a joint in my mouth!shit,i hadn'yt been on "staff 2 days and i was getting shit from dean and sylvia....i called mel riddle BECAUSE i KNEW him better than any of you ppl.....he talked to them and they decided to find another way to get "rid" of me....this time it was like i was on my phases again!everyone reported me...the "report" that screwed me was the one where i told the group NOT to drink JOLT...yes JOLT COLA,because it made me feel jumpy
i was protecting the phasers from getting in trouble for drinking that drink....i was afraid a few of them would"BRAINWASHINGLY" REPORT THEMSELVES FOR FEELING GUILTY ABOUT A CAFFINE BUZZ
the next thing i know,i'm getting fired for "suspicion of drug use".....after that,i snapped....shit after what i had been through in st pete,that was the straw that broke the camels back.....i had three UNTREATED NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS IN THAT F_ING PLACE PAUL...the first was a suiside attempt on my 3rd day in there,the 2nd was getting started over FOR NOTHING on day 128 of my 1st 5th phase{I know it was for nothing because MARK NEWTON told me so}....staff made a mistake,but couldn't admit to it and left me started over...funny how thats the 1st step of any step program but they couldn't apply that bs to themselves....so i got more torure both mentally and pysically,ostrasized from everyone,and had to be in there for 13 1/2 months LONGER.....3 yrs later,after i relised that i was nothing but a grad from str8 with no social or job skills and was coersed into staff by my mom{go or get out of the house!}hell,even though i had been accepted by stoughton 3 MONTHS EARLIER,i was still unsure about being a staff member up there,but off i went!then 5 weeks later....5 F-ING WEEKS LATER,i was fired for "suspicion of drug use"....if i was so full of shit,then explain why jim murry got me a job somwhere else
before he fired me?thats what happened paul.....i didn't get that job babysitting ppl on my own...
in the same "breath" of you're fired,he gave me a job somwhere else....
hell yes i was messed up! who wouldn't have been after that f-ing witch hunt?who wouldn't have been after being told that they would be arrested for being on str8's sacred grounds?who wouldn't have been after he found out his roomates/supposed friends were the ones behind all of that shit? paul,i was falling apart,and the ppl that i thought were my friends helped me along.....after that crap,all the good i saw in str8,just disappeared....vanished....and with it went a good guy....i couldn't function anymore
i just didn't have another recovery after all the shit i went through in there....when that happened
i realised that everything i'd gone through in there was for nothing....oh,i did try to "recover"
i did try to "blame" myself for that shit,just like i did when i was started over,but i didn't have enough in me to do so.....in spite of what happened to me up there,i did stay off drugs for 1 more yr.....i should've gone back to V.a,but i wanted to come home with my head held high....it
NEVER HAPPENED.....between that thing you call a state ,ASSACHUSETS,arresting me for "driving on a suspended license"that WASN'T suspended,
{i went down to V.a to clear my suspension,but they said it wasn't...when i brought up proof,the judge said it was suspended in ASSACHUSETS!}
and all the grief i had been subjected to by you and the other ppl involved,i went into depression,
and much more....i wound up on the streets of boston not giving shit about anything.....all of what happened to you by me, happened AFTER I WAS FUCKED OVER BY STRAIGHT and of course you!!!!! the last few months i was around you guys,yes i shirked my rent.by then i was usless...i was mentally f-ed up! remember what the "program" said?"your actions can screw somones life up"...do you remember that?
well,when i went up there,i was fine,normal happy go lucky goof ball as you put it....after that witch hunt,i was a raging lunatic!i had NOWHERE OR NO ONE TO VENT MY ANGER WITH....everyone thought i was all of a sudden,full of shit! no one
wanted anything to do with me....i couldn't "practice" what i was taught to do to deal with it....i was totally on my own!excommunicated from everything and everybody....
was that your doings also?was it dean or sylvias?
who was i supposed to trust after that shit happened?you?we were friends paul,mostly because you remember me coming in to support all of you guys on your phases.....i knew the place was f-ed up,but i knew the one thing i didn't have much when i was in there was hope!in my own f-ed up way,i was giving you guys hope!showing you there was life after straight....that what you were experiencing was only temporary....not forever!
how many other 7 steppers did you see do that ?
no..it wasn't cause i was dependant on the f-ing "program" or even that i believed in its bs so much as it was that i wanted the others that came in after me,to have it better than i did! in
some way,i felt like i was helping them through thier struggles in that place.....many phasers looked forward to me coming in and talking about being 7 stepped....life after hell....hearing me
talk about my own struggles in life as a 7 stepper
and when i was in st pete....i was there a long time paul...19 1/2 months! if you think i'm bull shit,then tell me paul,where did you get off "reporting me"....what was that supposed to help me?was it like the "therapy" i recieved in st pete? making me piss in my pants to "humble me?
throwing me into the time out room 2 times in my first week? i know! pinning me on the ground with 5 of the biggest kiss ass goons to cut my hair?
how about the whole open meeting review being devoted to me...for 4 hrs! then the next day more of the same for the whole day....then getting started over for shit that i had approved by senior staff{like you}! only to find out 10 months later,by miller newtons son,that my start over was bull shit! a mistake! hell,by the time i found that out,i had already been there 20 months!
leaving would've been stupid....i was almost on 5th again and i would've just been hunted down and brought back because my parents were so brainwashed into the f-ing place and the fred collins thing hadn't even happened yet...he was still in there!
oh , i called DEAN"NO VASALINE PLEASE"MINSTRETTA'S
bar....found out that he didn't own it anymore..also found out he IS GAY!!!!the most f-ed up thing about your mentor,was that i can remember him confronting MANY guys{not just one}
for "guy,guy" relationships only to find out he's a bone smoker himself! i don't care if he knows what i said just like i don't care about what i wrote about stoughton.....here's somthing you and your little group don't get...we on this forum are just waiting for you! we were fucked up by a single incident or in my case many,and we didn't have a cozy "program",weren't groomed for staff and made staff members...none of us were! oh,and we didn't "live behind the doors of straight"to stay sober either....at least for me,thats not the case...lies? whatever man.....i wish this shit had happened to you....i'd love to see how you would've dealt with it!thanks for my last nervous breakdown....my ass is still bleeding from it....come on down to my concert paul....
i'm sure everyone would love to see you...yes,i have a concert every year in the same place! its for underprivileged kids who's parents can't afford to buy them an instrument.....i still help out as many ppl as i can....somthing i can't seem to quit doing....just like when i was 7 stepped
and i came in and sung "american pie" to you guys or "rocket man".....how many ppl did i ruin by doing that paul...you? lol..please go tell somone who gives a shit!i'll give you the .50 cents to call! i begged to be on staff?begged? please dude,you're killing me!...so go on,go to germany and ride around in mikes car and talk up a good one about me....i wonder how many lives you ruined?i know one paul.....mine! oh,i know you don't believe it,but you guys did.....how could i be at fault for getting fired for drinking JOLT COLA?....suspicion of drug use...please.....matt mal00l3y  [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-05-04 23:48 ]

[Nonconformistlaw]

On 2006-02-07 15:05:00, Dr. Miller Newton wrote:

For example, I have bitched about Miller Newton even though I never 'witnessed' his cruelty personally.

Cruelty? .  ::bangin:: :mad:  :mad:  :mad:

[Anonymous]

by the way,i never really got the chance to "become the man".....did i?they never wanted me up there!lol...and even if i had,i wouldn't have been an asshole,brutaliser,punisher,dictator
etc etc.....its just not in my personality...my biggest mistake was going up there....i should've followed my gut feelings...but i'm a stupid fuck up.....i believed that my feelings were wrong and went up to my self destruction,instead of what i went up there for.....hippie

[Antigen]

On 2006-02-07 12:38:00, Paul_Meyer wrote:

"You're right, I should have contacted him off-line.  I didn't even know it was an option, until after I hit send.  I should never hit send when I'm still angry.  He may remember it differently than I do.  He was insane.  

So were you. So was damned near everybody involved in the Program.

Religious controversies are always productive of more acrimony and irreconcilable hatreds than those which spring from any other cause.
--George Washington, Revolutionary War General and U.S. President

[starry-eyed pirate]

On 2006-02-07 05:47:00, Frank Discussion wrote:

"

On 2006-02-06 23:21:00, Anonymous wrote:


"

but I doubt you actually met or knew hippie or Dean.

Why would you doubt that?? "

Again, why would you doubt this? I knew Dean. He was on staff for the entire time that I was in VA str8. He was one of the most (if not THE most) abusive "staffer" to ever set foot in that place. I was there from late 1982 to 1985. Ask anyone who was in there then & they'll tell you the same thing about him. There is no 'urban legend' in this case, Paul. He deserves every bit of hatred and venom that gets spewed from people here, and then some. That guy was a complete prick to just about everyone, unless they happened to be one of "Dean's boys."   :lol: That is, guys that he favored... "

Witness.  I was in from 85-87.  I knew Dean, watched him confront and intimidate many, many phasers.  He was an asshole. In my opinion only Tim Kelleher was worse.  I also saw hippie come in the back of group on occaision, just like he says he done.

[Anonymous]

1986, I was there. I saw, I know. It was truly off-the-wall. The wall..... Poor, G.W. :cry: I will never forget.

[Lost_In_Translation]

Matt, check your Private Messages.

[webcrawler]

Look I don't know how Paul was as a staff member, but he's here now and he's admitted his faults. I think people are being pretty hard on him.

Granted what he said to Hippy is pretty loaded and vice versa but it's the experiences the two of them personally shared. They should have the right to work it out fairly without being insulted or judged.

He's remorseful for being on staff. Let the guy process his experiences and thoughts here. People are always so quick to jump on someone for saying the "wrong thing." He's right when he says we act just like staff when we do this.

For the record no, I'm not brainwashed so if any of my trolls decide to come out kiss my ass!

Hell get 5 of us in a room with someone that is an outsider and we would scare the shit out of them. A trait that has never left the majority of us. I know it's still in me and I have used confrontation and intimidation as a coping mechanism myself, I'm just saying everyone is just going full throttle at the guy and it's a little scary. Hippy is in pain and I can't help but wonder how Paul is feeling after all these posts.

[teachback]

Girl, you are SOOOOO damn washed......   :rofl:

Kidding, of course.

Just curious - do you think that ~I was hard on him? I think I was pretty civil..eh?

[Nonconformistlaw]

On 2006-02-07 19:02:00, webcrawler wrote:

"Look I don't know how Paul was as a staff member, but he's here now and he's admitted his faults. I think people are being pretty hard on him.

Granted what he said to Hippy is pretty loaded and vice versa but it's the experiences the two of them personally shared. They should have the right to work it out fairly without being insulted or judged.

He's remorseful for being on staff. Let the guy process his experiences and thoughts here. People are always so quick to jump on someone for saying the "wrong thing." He's right when he says we act just like staff when we do this.

For the record no, I'm not brainwashed so if any of my trolls decide to come out kiss my ass!"

I agree...and I know I did my share of jumping his shit when I disagreed about survivors supposedly always spewing venom and hate without personal knowledge of certain events/staff, etc. As always, I hope to see more insight into Straight from the perspective of a former staff member.

[webcrawler]

On 2006-02-07 19:17:00, Frank Discussion wrote:

"Girl, you are SOOOOO damn washed......   :rofl:



Kidding, of course.



Just curious - do you think that ~I was hard on him? I think I was pretty civil..eh? "

Frank, I think you were pretty civil. I just don't agree with the assessment that he sounds program like by referring to staff and phasers. He was just using the original terms so we are all on the same page so everyone knew what he was talking about.(My hypothesis, lol)

I remember when I got into it with someone when I was told I sounded too program like. lol. Not every word and phrase we used in there was unique to str8. Also sometimes we just have to use the names and phrases str8 used to be clear on something we are talking about.

Peace.

[Dr. Miller Newton]

As always, I hope to see more insight into Straight from the perspective of a former staff member.

Yes, the opinions of Straight staff members should be much more of a priority around here:

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewforum.php?forum=6&37