Author Topic: I've got  (Read 19726 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #90 on: March 12, 2006, 01:58:00 PM »
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On 2006-03-11 21:14:00, Anonymous wrote:

Q)What did the mathematician do about his constipated dog?

A)He put it down on paper and worked it out with a pencil.

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #91 on: March 13, 2006, 08:25:00 AM »
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #92 on: March 13, 2006, 08:44:00 AM »
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #93 on: March 14, 2006, 11:54:00 AM »
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #94 on: March 14, 2006, 01:08:00 PM »
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On 2006-03-14 08:54:00, Anonymous wrote:

"This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet."


ouch!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #95 on: March 15, 2006, 05:24:00 PM »
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #96 on: March 16, 2006, 10:16:00 AM »
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On 2006-03-15 14:24:00, Anonymous wrote:

"You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down."


My cousin once referred to this as "crowning" or "touching cotton" (perhaps silk in your case, but we're broke-ass druggies).
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #97 on: March 17, 2006, 05:30:00 PM »
I took my first shit for today just now...better late than never.  :smokin:
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #98 on: March 17, 2006, 05:50:00 PM »
i just took a steamer and it was made up of all of the clams i ate the evening before. it was like my ass was just spitting out little pastaneck clams at an alarming rate. i call it machine gun clam turd ass.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #99 on: March 18, 2006, 12:45:00 PM »
That sounds like it was a little messy.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #100 on: March 20, 2006, 09:48:00 PM »
Curled some pipe just now...it felt damn good!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #101 on: March 21, 2006, 07:54:00 AM »
At the dog park this weekend and my doggie was grunting trying to drop a big load.  He had eaten lots of grass (not TBPITW) to assist in the consistency of the poop.  He was struggling and struggling, so as a good doggie daddy, I went over with a plastic bag and assisted him.  Grabbed the head of the poop and pulled it gently out.  Dropped the poop in the bag and he took off and humped the shit out of a smaller dog he felt so good.   Gotta love that.  Makes a doggies daddy proud!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #102 on: March 26, 2006, 01:02:00 AM »
:wave:
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Offline Troubled Turd

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« Reply #103 on: April 01, 2006, 08:26:00 PM »
I just took the kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out...ouch.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #104 on: April 03, 2006, 11:26:00 AM »
...just loaded the crapper..ahhh....
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »