I think the type of socialization (or, as the educrats describe it, social adjustment) we learned in school is very good preparation for a career in prison or in cubeland. Not so good for anything else, like entrepreneurial endeavors, creative pursuits or anything approaching a lifestyle that could be called freedom.
The alternative is difficult a lot of the time. Most kids are locked into the school system physically for almost as much time as adults spend working in their professional careers. And they're locked into the cliquish mindset, too. They have never had occasion to just walk up and talk to somebody w/o some pretense and/or permission from someone in charge. One of the oddest quirks around here is that they don't strictly approve of children fraternizing w/ other children who are not just about exactly the same age.
So it is difficult to find people to hang out with. Sure, I can let my 9yo walk to the corner store. But she's got no one to walk with, unless at least one older sister comes along. Even then, after 3 years here, we're still "those strangers" who moved up from Florida. My teenaged kids don't get to babysit.
There's a pervasive environment of fear and anxiety in a kids' world today, in or out of school.
But my kids know how to earn, spend and account for a little money, how to provide good service and keep agreements. They also know how to choose friends worthy of their time and attention and respect. They know how to deal with people in a decent, civil and friendly way. Naturally enough, they hang out most of the time in the real world with people who already have social skills.
They don't know how to give respect upon demand to people who haven't earned it. They haven't got a clue how to just believe something that makes no sense to them just because someone in authority said so.
As to structure, we don't go out of our way to impose any. I think this world is quite structured enough. My kids do and read and learn about whatever interests them.
That doesn't mean they never do those things that schoolpeople force unwilling school kids to do. It just means that, when they do it, they're doing it as a means to an end that they desire. One wanted to know math cause everybody does and cause she could see how aptitude at basic math would come in pretty handy when dealing w/ some of the shadier characters who sometimes run the register at the local store and in keeping things fair and balanced when chipping for various things w/ her sisters.
So, she asked for math books. And that led to discussion. And that led to tales of the daze of lore when Daddy's math teacher just hated him and made him write out the times tables up to a gross every damned day for weeks. (and yes! he did bike 20 miles each way with a roll of carpet on his back just to earn less than minimum wage.... yadda yadda LOL) and then to times tables, and then to computer aps best suited for printing out blanks upon which to write the times tables, which led to....
I'll let ya know when I'm 90 and have had time to really carefully consider my course. Mean time, it seems to be working out ok.
Commerce with all nations, alliance with none, should be our motto.
--Thomas Jefferson
