Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
Hyde School, The Most Truthful Informative Post I have Seen
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-06-17 13:11:00, fletch699 wrote:
"As a former Hyde student (and one who asked not to return to campus after a single year), I have first-hand experience with the Hyde education system. (In the interests of full disclosure, I was there in 1986, so things may have been different before and after my attendance.)
I have found this topic extremely interesting for a variety of reasons and I felt like responding to many of the accolades AND criticisms I've seen here.
First, I think it should be stated loudly and clearly that boarding schools, no matter where they are or what they profess to do, are NOT substitutes for attentive, "proper" parenting! Any parent who believes that they can simply drop off their student and pick up the "corrected" version on the way out, needs to wake up and realize that a school is NOT the place to make this transformation.
Second, if your student has problems that require any kind of formal counseling or medical attention, those also need to be dealt with in another venue. It is true that many of the students at Hyde have SIGNIFICANT substance abuse and/or psychological problems that have led to their attendance. Hyde (wrongly, IMHO) makes claims that they can fix these students with a series of attitude adjustments. But again, at the end of the day, I still believe that the parents do need to take responsibility and should look beyond a boarding school to do this type of treatment.
Third, boarding schools, wherever they are (and I've attended two plus many summer camps across the country) will always cast a wide net and bring in a variety of students. This means that as a parent, I want you to realize that your child is going to be exposed to MANY things that you might not expect. For example, I walked in on someone rolling a joint on my first night at Hyde. Granted, Hyde should do their part to control any kind of drug use on campus - but again, you have to remember that if there are kids there who have substance abuse problems, and unless it's a locked facility (which it isn't), then kids will get their hands on these substances.
Fourth, Hyde never promises world-class academics and they do not disappoint. Their teach staff is primarily recent college grads - many of whom were at Hyde during their HS career. Instead, Hyde promises the "Hyde Education" - character-based education... rightly or wrongly, this is what's provided. Again, parents need to understand this prior to sending their child to Hyde. Children are going to be punished while at Hyde. 2/4 has been there as long as I can remember... and I was on enough work crews scraping ice in the winter to vouch for the effectiveness of working in the cold rather than being in class in the warmth.
Fifth, Hyde DOES need to cycle out the "family". This, however, is not going to change in the near/long term future. Joe is still alive, Malcolm/Laura are still there, Laurie/Paul are still there... and their progeny are starting to get old enough to return as teachers. Yes, the Hyde inbreeding program is alive and well... and is a detriment to their overall success.
Sixth, and I can't stress this one strongly enough either, Hyde (nor any other program) can't EVER "fix" a student. The student has to want to fix themselves (excluding #2's issues as discussed above). Personally, I was an underachiever. I knew it, my parents knew it, my home town school guidance counselor knew it... as it every one of my friends. My downfall is that I test well (too damn competitive, I guess :smile: ). So my folks looked for a place that would not put up with my laziness. They found Hyde. Back then (as I think they still do now), they REQUIRE parent participation in the process to turn the student around - believing (rightly so this time, IMHO) that it's nature+nurture and that the nurture part is more responsible. My parents, on the other hand, didn't want to participate... so when I said I wasn't happy there... they didn't fight me to let me come home. But this was a failure on the part of my parents... and I did miss out, perhaps on learning lessons that I eventually had to learn elsewhere.
So... overall, Hyde isn't a perfect place... and it is NOT the right place for all students. Hyde, however, like any other boarding school, has financial issues to worry about, and they end up taking students that they shouldn't. When they can't serve those students, it's a tragedy for the student, the parents and Hyde. Both the parents and Hyde should've stopped it - but they don't - each for different reasons.
Parents who do not like Hyde usually do not like it because of the holistic environment - the responsibility of the entire family for the "treatment" of the student. Others do not like it because of the feeling of cultishness - which DOES exist - especially when you try to remove yourself (again, this is a sad feature of the place - and should probably be more reflective on the Gaulds' than on Hyde itself). And finally, a few others dislike it because of the stories they hear from their students (many of which are TRUE! ... but not all).
Students are almost the same. They dislike Hyde because Hyde administration doesn't have many of the restrictions as a state school (such as corporal-type punishment like 2/4). They also dislike Hyde because of the "Brother's Keeper" concept (which is basically the idea that if you see someone doing something wrong and don't report it, you're just as guilty as the wrongdoer). They feel that "narc'ing" on their friends is wrong and do not understand how this affects the community. Students also do not like the cultish feeling - as if they're being watched/monitored all of the time. And I personally didn't like it because I didn't have substance/psychological issues, yet everyone kept looking for me to have them.
All in all, Hyde is perfect and probably never can/will be. For the right student, at the right time, it might be a beneficial place. There are times when I think that Hyde would be better served if they simply taught family education courses on how to deal with children - and closed the schools themselves. I also hope that Hyde will one day realize the duality of their student population (those with purely "attitude" issues... vs those with medical/substance issues) and address those differences.
Until that time, I probably would not recommend anyone send a student there. Which is sad, because I do actually believe in the character education program... and I still try to live up to the five guiding principles of curiosity, courage, concern, leadership and integrity. One day, hopefully soon, Hyde will, too."
--- End quote ---
Fletch,
You have given the most accurate, and honest description of Hyde. I truly appreciate your words. I ditto 100% of what you have said and would like to add one more thing.
In addition to all you have pointed out, I believe Hyde School can be a dangerous place because of the attitude that exists with the staff and the Joe Gauld clan.
Thank you again for the refreshing post. Probably the best post on this board!
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-06-18 18:46:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-06-17 13:11:00, fletch699 wrote:
"As a former Hyde student (and one who asked not to return to campus after a single year), I have first-hand experience with the Hyde education system. (In the interests of full disclosure, I was there in 1986, so things may have been different before and after my attendance.)
I have found this topic extremely interesting for a variety of reasons and I felt like responding to many of the accolades AND criticisms I've seen here.
First, I think it should be stated loudly and clearly that boarding schools, no matter where they are or what they profess to do, are NOT substitutes for attentive, "proper" parenting! Any parent who believes that they can simply drop off their student and pick up the "corrected" version on the way out, needs to wake up and realize that a school is NOT the place to make this transformation.
Second, if your student has problems that require any kind of formal counseling or medical attention, those also need to be dealt with in another venue. It is true that many of the students at Hyde have SIGNIFICANT substance abuse and/or psychological problems that have led to their attendance. Hyde (wrongly, IMHO) makes claims that they can fix these students with a series of attitude adjustments. But again, at the end of the day, I still believe that the parents do need to take responsibility and should look beyond a boarding school to do this type of treatment.
Third, boarding schools, wherever they are (and I've attended two plus many summer camps across the country) will always cast a wide net and bring in a variety of students. This means that as a parent, I want you to realize that your child is going to be exposed to MANY things that you might not expect. For example, I walked in on someone rolling a joint on my first night at Hyde. Granted, Hyde should do their part to control any kind of drug use on campus - but again, you have to remember that if there are kids there who have substance abuse problems, and unless it's a locked facility (which it isn't), then kids will get their hands on these substances.
Fourth, Hyde never promises world-class academics and they do not disappoint. Their teach staff is primarily recent college grads - many of whom were at Hyde during their HS career. Instead, Hyde promises the "Hyde Education" - character-based education... rightly or wrongly, this is what's provided. Again, parents need to understand this prior to sending their child to Hyde. Children are going to be punished while at Hyde. 2/4 has been there as long as I can remember... and I was on enough work crews scraping ice in the winter to vouch for the effectiveness of working in the cold rather than being in class in the warmth.
Fifth, Hyde DOES need to cycle out the "family". This, however, is not going to change in the near/long term future. Joe is still alive, Malcolm/Laura are still there, Laurie/Paul are still there... and their progeny are starting to get old enough to return as teachers. Yes, the Hyde inbreeding program is alive and well... and is a detriment to their overall success.
Sixth, and I can't stress this one strongly enough either, Hyde (nor any other program) can't EVER "fix" a student. The student has to want to fix themselves (excluding #2's issues as discussed above). Personally, I was an underachiever. I knew it, my parents knew it, my home town school guidance counselor knew it... as it every one of my friends. My downfall is that I test well (too damn competitive, I guess :smile: ). So my folks looked for a place that would not put up with my laziness. They found Hyde. Back then (as I think they still do now), they REQUIRE parent participation in the process to turn the student around - believing (rightly so this time, IMHO) that it's nature+nurture and that the nurture part is more responsible. My parents, on the other hand, didn't want to participate... so when I said I wasn't happy there... they didn't fight me to let me come home. But this was a failure on the part of my parents... and I did miss out, perhaps on learning lessons that I eventually had to learn elsewhere.
So... overall, Hyde isn't a perfect place... and it is NOT the right place for all students. Hyde, however, like any other boarding school, has financial issues to worry about, and they end up taking students that they shouldn't. When they can't serve those students, it's a tragedy for the student, the parents and Hyde. Both the parents and Hyde should've stopped it - but they don't - each for different reasons.
Parents who do not like Hyde usually do not like it because of the holistic environment - the responsibility of the entire family for the "treatment" of the student. Others do not like it because of the feeling of cultishness - which DOES exist - especially when you try to remove yourself (again, this is a sad feature of the place - and should probably be more reflective on the Gaulds' than on Hyde itself). And finally, a few others dislike it because of the stories they hear from their students (many of which are TRUE! ... but not all).
Students are almost the same. They dislike Hyde because Hyde administration doesn't have many of the restrictions as a state school (such as corporal-type punishment like 2/4). They also dislike Hyde because of the "Brother's Keeper" concept (which is basically the idea that if you see someone doing something wrong and don't report it, you're just as guilty as the wrongdoer). They feel that "narc'ing" on their friends is wrong and do not understand how this affects the community. Students also do not like the cultish feeling - as if they're being watched/monitored all of the time. And I personally didn't like it because I didn't have substance/psychological issues, yet everyone kept looking for me to have them.
All in all, Hyde is perfect and probably never can/will be. For the right student, at the right time, it might be a beneficial place. There are times when I think that Hyde would be better served if they simply taught family education courses on how to deal with children - and closed the schools themselves. I also hope that Hyde will one day realize the duality of their student population (those with purely "attitude" issues... vs those with medical/substance issues) and address those differences.
Until that time, I probably would not recommend anyone send a student there. Which is sad, because I do actually believe in the character education program... and I still try to live up to the five guiding principles of curiosity, courage, concern, leadership and integrity. One day, hopefully soon, Hyde will, too."
--- End quote ---
Fletch,
You have given the most accurate, and honest description of Hyde. I truly appreciate your words. I ditto 100% of what you have said and would like to add one more thing.
In addition to all you have pointed out, I believe Hyde School can be a dangerous place because of the attitude that exists with the staff and the Joe Gauld clan.
Thank you again for the refreshing post. Probably the best post on this board! "
--- End quote ---
I agree, Fletch. You've confirmed what many of us have suspected about Hyde. The fact that your experience is so similar to the experiences of those of us who have been involved with Hyde more recently is amazing and, for me, very depressing. The negative aspects of Hyde are obviously so deeply ingrained in the place. I can't imagine it will ever change so long as the Gauld clan is in charge. One major thing that is different is that now this website exists. Unlike when you went to Hyde, parents who are considering the school have a way to find out lots of information from these posts. Even though there are too many annoying and sophomoric posts, this website also includes many helpful and informative disclosures about how bad Hyde is for many (most?) of its students.
Thanks.
Anonymous:
Problem is, this website doesn't have enough links to it. What has happened is that when you "google" Hyde, Fornits doesn't come up until long after all the public relations garbage from Hyde is displayed. For all you savy computer geeks, maybe you can help. I think it is important that the public be able to see both the positive PR posts for Hyde as well as the negative posts.
fletch699:
Well... I don't know how to respond. I'm grateful that many people believe that I've been able to summarize Hyde in the most succinct and accurate manner done til now. On the other hand, I'm disappointed to hear that 21 years later, things haven't changed.
This leads me to the conclusion that it's the familial ownership of Hyde that is causing the problem(s) - the fact that if your top leadership in an organization never changes, the organization won't change either. And, as I've said elsewhere, that's depressing.
It's mostly depressing, however, because there are good kids out there that really need the help that Hyde advertises. There are parents out there struggling to find a school (or other form of education) to help their child. And in 2006, as it was in 1986 (and from Tommy, 1976), Hyde is not that place.
So... let's see if we can't do something to help those parents and students.
First - prospective parents. If your student has drug and/or alchohol problems, please get them proper TREATMENT. This is NOT school, NOT education. I want you to get them off the substance they're abusing and I want you to do it NOW. Interventions are for adults. As a parent, I want you to take control and help you child deal with their problem. Which might mean institutionalizing them for a short time in a detox facility to get them clean.
It probably also means that I want you to find the root cause to the substance abuse problem. This is going to require therapy. Psychological help from a trained mental health professional who has EXTENSIVE experience in substance abuse issues. Oh, and it also means that you might need to participate in those sessions, too, to find out if YOUR behavior is a contributing factor... and then YOU will need to change, too.
The same is true if your child has some other sort of psychological problem. Hyde is NOT the right place, and I want you to find treatment that is. ADHD is now the popular diagnosis. I want you to find a second (and maybe a third) opinion on this. ADHD is a real problem for many people, but it's not as prevalent as some doctors make it appear to be. Which means that you might have to go the extra mile to find a specialist that is willing to tell you that your child DOES NOT have ADHD (or whatever other "drugable" disease is currently popular) so that you can be sure that you're treating the real problem (which may be ADHD).
If your child, however, is simply lazy, find them a place that won't accept laziness and has a 24 hour structure to encourage proper time management. (If you don't know - look to their standardized test scores or IQ test results like my folks did... we are usually easy to identify in that everyone knows that we're smart... but we're still getting generally bad grades.) Personally, I spent 2 years after Hyde at a military school. It was probably a great thing for me in terms of structure. I took the responsibility lesson from Hyde, combined it with the structure from military school ... and went back to my home high school and finished my last 2 years with almost straight A's.
But if boarding school isn't the answer you want, then you're going to have to get VERY involved in their lives. I want you to be home when they get home (which isn't possible for many parents who work full time jobs). I want you to know about their classes, their homework, their study habits, their free time activities, their friends/social lives, and, most importantly, I want you to spend enough time with them to help them realize how much you care about them... and that this isn't a trivial attempt to "get to know them." As children, they can see right through that.
Second, if you're a student (current, former, prospective): You have a few choices at this point in your lives, depending on what your status is and what your "issue" might be. If you are a prospective/current student and you have psychological or substance issues... and have the ability to admit to them, go get the help that you really need from a trained professional. Ask your parents for the help NOW. If they don't have the ability or wherewithall to help you, seek help from your school's guidance counselor. Or... if you're scared of that, look online or in your phonebook for the address and phone number of your county's Mental Health Services (Behavioral Services). Almost every county in every state has one... and they have trained professionals there to help you or get you the help you need. The key is being able to identify that you yourself actually need the help.
I would like to be able to say that current students should also be able to have frank conversations with their parents about their feelings, their problems and the possible solutions. Unfortunately, I know first hand, that had I told my parents that Hyde was not the right place for me before they had the chance to experience a Parent's Weekend (hehe... you should see the look on my parents' face during parents weekend... if you have my year's yearbook, you can!), I would've been met with resistance. So, I'm not saying that you should bash Hyde to your parents. What you CAN do, however, is get the REAL help in addition to Hyde. Take the responsibility for your behavior now, on your own. Hyde wants character development... this is your chance.
If you're a former student from Hyde, you might also need professional counselling to help you cope with your experiences. This board is a great starting place from where you can spring into more healthy feelings overall. Carrying animosity about a boarding school around with you for the rest of your life isn't going to help you. This doesn't condone Hyde's actions towards you... it's just a recognition that they no longer have any actual control over you and that I want you to deal with your feelings before something worse may happen.
Overall, parents and students BOTH need to take responsibility for the behaviors of their children, since they are children, and may not know with certainty what the proper course of action needs to be in a given situation. I want you to honestly (and sometimes emotionally) address EACH and EVERY issue the child AND FAMILY currently has. If you are ALL willing to do this, you can work together to find the right solution (which, again, unfortunately won't be Hyde, even if it's just laziness on the part of the child).
But it's hard work. And it takes time and effort, and yes, sometimes money. And it sucks. It sucks because everyone (parents and children) would love to believe that they're OK, and that their family is OK. And who knows? You might be more OK than you originally believed. But only through experienced professional therapy/treatment can you really discover this.
Again, I should know. I've been through it all. My parents sent ME to therapy to be fixed. Then they sent ME to Hyde to be fixed. Then send ME to military school to be fixed. And I was lucky. I figured out some of my problems on my own and was able to become successful in school.
Almost 20 years later, and after the death of a parent, was I able to finally have the right conversations with the remaining parent. A tearful, heartfelt, happy/sad conversation that allowed the first REAL progress in our family. But what made it most upsetting to me was that it took so long, because we didn't get the right help back when I was really struggling. My folks shoved me down all of the various rabbit holes and I never found the rabbit.
You don't have to struggle this way. And, would my problems have been of a substance abuse or psychological nature, they would've NEVER been resolved this way.
So please, use my story as an example. Identify the true issues. Realize that the whole family is involved (which again, is something that Hyde actually gets right). Treat the problems. Enjoy the success(es)!
Anonymous:
So you are one of the guys Joe gave the boot to. No wonder you are bitter
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