I'm sending my kid away for POT!

[screann]

On 2005-12-09 17:28:00, KarenInDallas wrote:

"

On 2005-12-09 16:57:00, Anonymous wrote:


"Are you people all brain dead?  The issue isn't just "a little pot".  It is getting arrested and a myriad of other problems.  This parent is exploring options- the kid has not been sent away yet!  Get a grip."

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE! These little forniscating teen PUKES need to shut the hell up because they dont know what they are saying!! I am a trained lawyer. I went to college, and I can tell most people on this board DID NOT. You stupid fucks, I dont even know why I post here--- not like you understand anything--- unless it's in four letter words. GOD I HATE YOU ALL so much!  ::unhappy::  ::unhappy::  ::unhappy::  ::unhappy::  ::unhappy::  ::unhappy::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::armed::  ::armed::  ::armed::  :skull:  :skull:  :skull:

[Anotherscaredmom]

Why is it always said that the parents must be lazy and not talking to their kids?  I have tried so many ways to talk to my son, listen to him, ask him questions.  Tonight, he came home at midnight after having snuck out of the house the night before.  He was angry that I called the police to look for him.  He said, "You're so stupid!  Why do you call the cops.  I'm always ok!  Everytime.   And when DSS is on our doorstep, don't bitch to me."

This was after I told him how worried I was about him, asked why he didn't call, hugged him, etc etc.  When I asked where he was, and why he snuck out, he said, "Because, I wanted to have some fun!  God, I don't want to be stuck at home while everyone else is out having an f-ing good time!"  

14 years old is not ready to be out from 10:00 p.m. one night until midnight the next.

Oh, but yes, back to the lazy parent part.  I was a stay at home mother for seven years because I adored my children and LIKED spending time with them.  Now, I am divorced but I still do my best to find time to talk with them every day, to hug them and tell them I love them.  I'm not a perfect parent and I don't think there is such a thing.  And I don't expect perfect kids.  But I do expect that at least when you've done something wrong that you have a little more humility about it.  I think  that's how these programs rope parents in!  Because most of the kids seem like they could give a rats ass about authority of any kind.

I remember being a teen and rebelling and sneaking out, all of it.  But I also remember actually being sorry or at least afraid of the trouble I might get in.  Kids now who are in trouble, really don't seem to care at all.  

Anyway, I've said these same things so many times now.  I can't help it when I see someone so easily dismissing the parents as "lazy" or "f-ups".  It's just wrong.

[Anotherscaredmom]

And by the way, I'm NOT defending Karen in Dallas.  Is she for real?  I find it hard to believe anyone could talk like that and not have had her children taken away!!!  What is UP with that?

[Anonymous]

I agree that this mom is more open than most when it comes to hearing others' points of view.  She came here to listen and didn't bail out or get all defensive.  She's clarified some things when we've gone for the jugular too quickly.  She wants to know how to help her son, and if we tell her honestly what we feel about programs, that helps her more than the typical screw you, program parent loser, and calling her every other name in the book just because she cared enough to ask everyone for their opinions.  She didn't sign an enrollment contract yet.  Yes, us kids who've been there are really worried that she will, but we need to explain why in a respectful way so she can hear the messages.  I am not a prude, yes I cuss, but some people are going way overboard with it and you don't get anyone to listen by speaking that way.

[Anonymous]

Not sure there are any 'kids' posting on this forum, most of us are adults here, at least so I thought.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't tell with the way some of them blow up at anything.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-09 21:39:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I agree that this mom is more open than most when it comes to hearing others' points of view.  She came here to listen and didn't bail out or get all defensive.  She's clarified some things when we've gone for the jugular too quickly.  She wants to know how to help her son, and if we tell her honestly what we feel about programs, that helps her more than the typical screw you, program parent loser, and calling her every other name in the book just because she cared enough to ask everyone for their opinions.  She didn't sign an enrollment contract yet.  Yes, us kids who've been there are really worried that she will, but we need to explain why in a respectful way so she can hear the messages.  I am not a prude, yes I cuss, but some people are going way overboard with it and you don't get anyone to listen by speaking that way."

 :lol:  :lol: "Yes, us kids"  :lol:  :lol: who are you really? lol!

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-09 17:28:00, KarenInDallas wrote:

"

On 2005-12-09 16:57:00, Anonymous wrote:


"Are you people all brain dead?  The issue isn't just "a little pot".  It is getting arrested and a myriad of other problems.  This parent is exploring options- the kid has not been sent away yet!  Get a grip."

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE! These little forniscating teen PUKES need to shut the hell up because they dont know what they are saying!! I am a trained lawyer. I went to college, and I can tell most people on this board DID NOT. You stupid fucks, I dont even know why I post here--- not like you understand anything--- unless it's in four letter words. GOD I HATE YOU ALL so much!  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::fuckoff::  ::both:: "

Sounds like it's this infamous struggling troll poster who needs to clean up their language! typical program parent!@!!!

[Anonymous]

I didnt mean to offten any one . What I ment by Lazy is...stop and take some time out to learn what there into .What video games they like ,learn to play them. What DVDs do they like watch them together,start some kind of bond. I have a 23 year old son that is just the best and a 7 year old girl that is just as great. Its all about learning . It works. As a child I was in a RTC and its a very Lonely feeling. ::dove::

[Anonymous]

I understand how worried a parent must get when their child doesn't come home. I don't understand how a parent could feel less worried if they gave their child to a group of cultish thinking stranger adults who refuse them human rights. I feel my child would be safer in the hands of their friends over some adult who can easily abuse or kill them and get away with it. I believe there is more of a risk in sending them away than them staying out all night. In the world the statistics for a child to be killed are far less than when in a facility, when compared ratio to ratio. Personaly I'd like it much more if my kid snuck out smoked a little weed and came home the same kid I knew, then if I sent them away and they never returned or if they did in alot worse shape then  when the kid was jsut sneaking out.

As far as Karen goes, who knows if she is for real..But imagine your kid being in the hands of someone like Karen.. Just ponder that awhile, because in facilities-that is the kind of people who are abusing your child while you rest peacefully, unworried in your own snuggly bed.

[Anonymous]

karenindallas is Dysfunction Junction or some other Fornits regular being cute.  The screenname was stolen from a parent who used to post on strugglingteens.  The karenindallas on this forum is not a parent.  It is a joke.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-10 06:33:00, Anonymous wrote:

"karenindallas is Dysfunction Junction or some other Fornits regular being cute.  The screenname was stolen from a parent who used to post on strugglingteens.  The karenindallas on this forum is not a parent.  It is a joke."

I thought so too, until I went over to StrugglingTeens, and got Karen's email. Surely enough, she spouts the same stuff in her emails. Her InstantMessage handle is also posted, just in case you are in doubt. Go try, and then come back and say it's a joke. This Karen person is out of her mind, and her job seems to be to refer parents to programs.

[Troll Control]

On 2005-12-10 07:14:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2005-12-10 06:33:00, Anonymous wrote:


"karenindallas is Dysfunction Junction or some other Fornits regular being cute.  The screenname was stolen from a parent who used to post on strugglingteens.  The karenindallas on this forum is not a parent.  It is a joke."

I thought so too, until I went over to StrugglingTeens, and got Karen's email. Surely enough, she spouts the same stuff in her emails. Her InstantMessage handle is also posted, just in case you are in doubt. Go try, and then come back and say it's a joke. This Karen person is out of her mind, and her job seems to be to refer parents to programs."

I never post with any other identity.

Karen is a real person who posted on this board frequently, often very rudely and arrogantly.  Her real identity was discovered by somebody here (not me) and she was run off the board.

The person posting as Karenindallas is not the "real" Karen, who is obviously continuing to promote programs on strugglingparents, but fornits' Karen does sound very similar to the other Karen.

What's funny is that fornits' Karen goes WAY over the top to poke fun at the other Karen, but people still see so much similarity b/c the other Karen is totally outrageous, even though she's not trying to be.

[screann]

On 2005-12-09 23:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I understand how worried a parent must get when their child doesn't come home. I don't understand how a parent could feel less worried if they gave their child to a group of cultish thinking stranger adults who refuse them human rights. I feel my child would be safer in the hands of their friends over some adult who can easily abuse or kill them and get away with it. I believe there is more of a risk in sending them away than them staying out all night. In the world the statistics for a child to be killed are far less than when in a facility, when compared ratio to ratio. Personaly I'd like it much more if my kid snuck out smoked a little weed and came home the same kid I knew, then if I sent them away and they never returned or if they did in alot worse shape then  when the kid was jsut sneaking out.



As far as Karen goes, who knows if she is for real..But imagine your kid being in the hands of someone like Karen.. Just ponder that awhile, because in facilities-that is the kind of people who are abusing your child while you rest peacefully, unworried in your own snuggly bed."

I agree with you a 100 percent. I could never sleep at night not knowing if my child is safe. Id rather see them out with friends then miles away Not knowing whats going on with them. Kids need there parents not a bunch of strangers not even knowing if there come out alive. They might as well send them outside to be kiddnapped the same harm can come to them. Like I said in my last post its so importent to get to know your kids. This Karen in Dallas seems to get great pleasure in sending her children and others away. You are so right she is the kind of person they have running RTCs,my heart goes out to the children even more.I myself was at the mercy of a Karen from Dallas as a child and I must say after 20 somthing years I would never want any child to endour the Horror I went though. Its a sad world we live in when parents give up on there kids. Whats even worst they really feel that it will be good for the child.  Again I agree with you all the way. I must also add I feel so sorry for Karen from Dallas childrend, those poor kids. ::dove::

[AtomicAnt]

On 2005-12-09 21:27:00, famjaztique wrote:

"Why is it always said that the parents must be lazy and not talking to their kids?  I have tried so many ways to talk to my son, listen to him, ask him questions.  Tonight, he came home at midnight after having snuck out of the house the night before.  He was angry that I called the police to look for him.  He said, "You're so stupid!  Why do you call the cops.  I'm always ok!  Everytime.   And when DSS is on our doorstep, don't bitch to me."



This was after I told him how worried I was about him, asked why he didn't call, hugged him, etc etc.  When I asked where he was, and why he snuck out, he said, "Because, I wanted to have some fun!  God, I don't want to be stuck at home while everyone else is out having an f-ing good time!"  



14 years old is not ready to be out from 10:00 p.m. one night until midnight the next.



Oh, but yes, back to the lazy parent part.  I was a stay at home mother for seven years because I adored my children and LIKED spending time with them.  Now, I am divorced but I still do my best to find time to talk with them every day, to hug them and tell them I love them.  I'm not a perfect parent and I don't think there is such a thing.  And I don't expect perfect kids.  But I do expect that at least when you've done something wrong that you have a little more humility about it.  I think  that's how these programs rope parents in!  Because most of the kids seem like they could give a rats ass about authority of any kind.



I remember being a teen and rebelling and sneaking out, all of it.  But I also remember actually being sorry or at least afraid of the trouble I might get in.  Kids now who are in trouble, really don't seem to care at all.  



Anyway, I've said these same things so many times now.  I can't help it when I see someone so easily dismissing the parents as "lazy" or "f-ups".  It's just wrong.  "

I sympathize completely. There are so many outside influences beyond our control. I have often complained that our kids are raised by institutions and spend more waking time in those institutions than they do with us. Not only do I work, but I too am divorced. I don't get the everyday hands-on parenting opportunities that I'd like to have.

I remember being 14 and running off all night. At that time, I felt my parents were naive and that I was tough, street-wise and able to take care of myself. I was too self-absorbed to empathize with their worry. I never felt there was any danger in my actions. Once, after running away for several days, I came home on my own. My Mother met me at the door with, "You better have a good story because your Dad is fit to be tied." My Dad was scary. Growing up, he would use a belt first and ask for explanations later, if at all. I was certain I was in for a beating. I went upstairs towards my room and ran into my Dad in the upstairs hall. The look of anger, fear, and relief on his face said more than any words could. He said nothing. He walked right by me and down the stairs. I was never punished. We never talked about my absence. I never told my parents where I was, why I left, why I came back, nothing. I never ran again. My father never hit me again, either. In fact, other than some occasional harsh words, he never punished me at all after that.

Fourteen is a tough age. I can't speak for girls, but as a boy I remember the inner conflict of knowing that I depended on my parents and at the same time was rejecting them and individuating. It's a horrible feeling, really. I thought they were treating me like I was stupid or still a child (teenagers do not view themselves as children). I had no clue as to how innocent and inexperienced I really was.

My parents never resorted to any drastic intervention or program. They just kept at it. They never wavered in their values. Eventually, I got it. I graduated from high school on time (technically I failed eighth grade on attendance alone, but the school put me in ninth anyway). I went straight through college in four years and received my BS. Later in life (my late thirties) I went back for an MS.

So, don't give up hope. Hang in there. I won't pretend to be an expert on child rearing, or to have the answers to solving your problems. All I can do is offer support and encouragement.