"our society also buys parents off their normal work for a period so they can be at school watching over their child"
That's a wonderful system. However, it's completely irrelevant here as we do not have that option, unfortunately.
Yes you do have a choice, it may not be easy or convenient but it's for your child and well worth the sacrifices...
I can speak pretty well for my child - I just spent another 5 days with her, mostly off-campus on a "Utah visit". She could say whatever she wanted, go shopping, go to movies...and her main topic was how she wants to get back home, but would never have been able to without the Ranch.
I'm not surprised by your daughters reaction, even in the most abusive programs you will find this reaction common among kids still in the program or a few years out of the program.
Despite what you may believe your daughter was not free to tell you whatever she wanted to. Here's why
- She would face accusations of manipulation if she was to say anything bad about the program. No doubt you would have talked to staff about any accusation and they would deny it, tell you not to believe her manipulations, and she would be dropped a few levels lengthening her stay.
- The nature of the program is one of thought reform. It uses many of the tactic types of thought reform as defined by Margaret Singer:[li] TACTIC 1. The individual is prepared for thought reform through increased suggestibility and/or "softening up," specifically through hypnotic or other suggestibility-increasing techniques such as: A. Extended audio, visual, verbal, or tactile fixation drills; B. Excessive exact repetition of routine activities; C. Decreased sleep; D. Nutritional restriction.
- TACTIC 2[/b]. Using rewards and punishments, efforts are made to establish considerable control over a person's social environment, time, and sources of social support. Social isolation is promoted. Contact with family and friends is abridged, as is contact with persons who do not share group-approved attitudes. Economic and other dependence on the group is fostered. (In the forerunner to coercive persuasion, brainwashing, this was rather easy to achieve through simple imprisonment.)
- TACTIC 3[/b]. Disconfirming information and nonsupporting opinions are prohibited in group communication. Rules exist about permissible topics to discuss with outsiders. Communication is highly controlled. An "in-group" language is usually constructed.
- TACTIC 4[/b]. Frequent and intense attempts are made to cause a person to re-evaluate the most central aspects of his or her experience of self and prior conduct in negative ways. Efforts are designed to destabilize and undermine the subject's basic consciousness, reality awareness, world view, emotional control, and defense mechanisms as well as getting them to reinterpret their life's history, and adopt a new version of causality.
- TACTIC 5[/b]. Intense and frequent attempts are made to undermine a person's confidence in himself and his judgment, creating a sense of powerlessness.
- TACTIC 6[/b]. Nonphysical punishments are used such as intense humiliation, loss of privilege, social isolation, social status changes, intense guilt, anxiety, manipulation and other techniques for creating strong aversive emotional arousals, etc.
- TACTIC 7[/b]. Certain secular psychological threats [force] are used or are present: That failure to adopt the approved attitude, belief, or consequent behavior will lead to severe punishment or dire consequence, (e.g. physical or mental illness, the reappearance of a prior physical illness, drug dependence, economic collapse, social failure, divorce, disintegration, failure to find a mate, etc.).
[/li]
[li]Aspen has most likely had enough time to break her, as such she will no longer question the program in a way that could bring any consequences upon herself. This is called survival mode and is present in victims of different types of abuse.
To make it she must fake it and fake it long enough with the right reinforcement:
- parental approval,
- allowed to be part of the group,
- rewards for accepting the group's identity and beliefs,
- etc
[/li][/list]
she will believe it with, and with great fervor.
This is obviously demonstrated in what your daughter said about returning home but only because of the ranch
- It's not uncommon for victims to become attached to their abuser. It's called Stockholm's syndrome and is a documented fact. Even though you had time alone with her Stockholm's syndrome would have prevented her from seeking escape.
We spent a couple hours on the computer looking at horse boarding, since she's planning on buying a horse when she leaves (one of the ranch equine therapists came in for several hours on an off-day just so we could ride with our daughter).
She's in an accelerated high school program that's (check it out yourself) highly rated by public and private colleges, ranking with high-dollar prep schools...and is again pulling almost straight-A's. One residential staff person - one of the supposedly "abusive" people if you look at other sites - asked us to come by her new job to say hi - and she wants to come to our daughter's graduation. Another staff person brought some puppies to the team for them to play with for a couple days; another bought a Christmas tree and decorations, and took the whole team out for dinner and to a non-denominational church Christmas eve.
She is apart of the group now, a trusty, who is now afforded privileges not offered to those outside of the group. This is a two fold thing however, a velvet glove over an iron fist. These privileges reward here for accepting the group think and philosophy, however it also increases her dependence on the group. If she's not lock step with the program those privileges will turn into antagonistic weapons of manipulation to get her back in line with the group's think.
Sure, there are a couple staff people she doesn't like, but that's life. All her teachers she adores, and she's getting great reports. Her home district did some testing and found her to be far above her "normal" level - about a grade ahead when she SHOULD be a grade behind because of her trauma and troubles.
Will her school credits transfer to any school are only a certain few? Did she pick the university with or without the programs input? I believe that your daughter SHOULD NOT have been held back, having "trauma" does not make one stupid. Not knowing the AEG's schools I'm not sure if they go the self teaching route like most programs do. If you have a link to some info please provide it.
So play with your BS meters and other ignorant crap all you want - it's not a prison, it's not abusive, and it's saved at least ONE life for sure. We have parents with problems coming to us, and we recommend they check it out along with other programs, as the "ranch" might not be a good fit for some kids. But we do not hesitate to recommend it, or even to talk to the other kids about it and answer question straight-up.
We are lucky to have her there under a state/school district sponsored program...we could never afford it out-of-pocket, but if I HAD to, I'd find a way...and when she graduates, I willl find some way to support it afterwards - you have NO idea what it means to a parent when you watch your daughter go from a broken shell to a growing teenager. She has a long way to go yet, but knows it and is handling it fine. The telling comment to me was "I like it here - I don't want to LIVE here forever - but I like it." That and the fact she's alive.
Every program parent says this, even Straight,INC parents. I suggest you read the postings of survivors in regards to their parents, I believe you will find it to be quiet reflective.. Nothing short of a video of the abuse will ever make you believe differently, so oh well.....
It certainly would be nice if we had programs as they apparently do in some countries where parents can take time off and work with their kids in need, but I'm not sure that's enough in the therapeutic sense - parents are NOT therapists...we sure aren't.
Neither is the the staff that runs most of the therapy sessions
Anyway, we're thankful and so is she. And in all the "meters" and sarcastic "donut" lines, I haven't read a single fact...or educated, knowledgable opinion...that is counter to anything I've related.
Really?
So if you have hard facts...or even an intelligent opinion...I'd be willing to listen and discuss it. But the bullshit meters and other 8th-grade crap just makes the naysayers look exceedingly incapable of expressing anything intelligent. You think anyone with an ounce of brains forms an opinion about a program on the basis of a graphic swiped from another site?
Tell me what made you pick AEG as the program to send your child too? website, ed-con, parent... Certainly not brains or
expert opinions regarding programs
I'm not saying to take everything I say as gospel...but I AM giving some examples and opinions with actual content.
And I wonder how many of the goofballs are even parents? Or kids who have been through a program?
My guess? Zero.
Don't be silly this is fornits :lol:
I respect the European poster who lives with a different system.. That at least has some basis in reality. But the hit-and-run trolls have said nothing at all so far.
:roll:
