"You said in a previous post that your sons bad parent was his father. Hmm. perhaps then, the reason for his defiance is his feelings towards his dad. My step mom was abusive to me and my brother since I was age 3. I have been physically and mentally abused by her my whole life. My mother was a good mom, my step dad was a good dad, HOWEVER, because of the treatemnt I recieved from my step mom none of that mattered. I was horrible to my mom, even though I had no reason to be really. I think in retrospect, I was angry with her for not stopping the abuse. Perhaps the reason really isnt you, but sending him off to a WWASP program will not help, at least not for long. I was good and brainwashed by the program and I really was "well behaved" for a while, becuase I was so scared of ever making mistakes. But it was a short term solution that only worked short term. It would be intersting to hear your whole story, how your son grew up, what his father was like, etc etc. Sometimes without even meaning to or realizing it, inderectly you can mess your kid up. My parents divorce and remmarige set the course for depression and major anxiety for a long time. It was only after being de-programed that I really am a whole happy person now. I certainly still hate the program, I hate what they do to kids, what they did to me, and I feel I have every right to be. I still get angry with my parents for sending me there, considering the reason I was depressed and suicidal was becuase I had been abused by my step mom ( the very person who suggested a program to "fix" me) for so long. Anyway, I will stop rambling now. I just really hope you can think LOOOONG and hard before you see WWASP as your final solution. Because really it isnt a soultion, it will only make things worse. If you want a kid who will be able to think for himself, WWASP is not the answer."
Thanks for your thoughtful response. I know that my son is in pain and I know that some of it is from his Dad. He's also a very sensitive kid who has turned to anger to protect himself. You have to understand, I'm looking for a nurturing but strict environment for him. He has become a master at manipulating. He's incredibly smart. In my gut, I feel that the best thing that could happen to him is that he was in a consistent environment where all the people working with him were in constant contact with one another. A small teacher to child ratio where he can't just slip through the cracks another day. When my child skips school, sometimes the school fails to call me. He has walked out of school three times. I can't be there with him in school and still provide for him. If I could, I would. I would walk him into school every day and sit right there alongside him and make sure he wrote down everything, and behaved, and be there to protect him if a teacher was bullying or another child was. Because the fact is, bullying happens in public schools too. There have been so many instances in fact that I am seeking an educational lawyer to protect my son's rights in the school setting.
Despite poster's conclusions, I am a parent who cares.
