Author Topic: Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?  (Read 1589 times)

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Offline Jupiter Survivor

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« on: November 17, 2005, 04:14:00 PM »
I guess that sounds a little strange.  I just remembered that when I told Ginger I had a bad headache and the sun was hurting my eyes ( I was in tears pain and we were sitting out in the back of the building in the heat), told me I was "full of shit and acting like a baby".
I didn't go to a dr until I was 19, because I thought it wasn't that bad and didn't want to be told I was weak.


Has anyone else had staff tell you something like that?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2005, 04:57:00 PM »
No, but I know what you mean. I never would have bothered trying to bring anyting up. The whole time I was in, I kept pretty close to my resolve to never ask for anything. Even in the "wants and needs" list I never asked for candy or anything beyond really essential needs like soap or underwear. I just sidestepped the whole negotiating, begging and confusing feelings of grattitude for getting what I asked for as much as possible.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2005, 05:12:00 PM »
yup-I had bronchitis in Ft. Lauderdale.  My old-comer took my temp and it was 102.something early in the morning.  I was also coughing up some blood.  Those clowns, er, leaders, didn't believe me.  Two nights later at an open meeting I yelled to my parents to help me.  Thankfully, they insisted on talking to me in person.  All it took was for my mom to feel my forehead and they yanked me out and took me back up to Brevard.   Our family doc met us at his office on Sat. morning and was dismayed and disgusted that I hadn't already received medical treatment.  Bronchitis had turned into pneumonia and I spent two weeks in bed at home.  I had to go back when I recovered and received a reaming from one of the evil bitches (can you tell I am learning that I have a lot of repressed anger from that time?).  I hope they all roast in hell.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2005, 11:08:00 AM »
Oh yeah, Bronchitis. Looking back, I can't believe how brainwashed I was. I had bronchitis too. I picked it up when I ran away in the spring of `81. I landed up at the Jesus `81 festival in Orlando where some really friendly Pentacostals let me sleep in one of their tents.

It was so bad I had to sleep sitting up. The one time I threw a punch in there was during excercise rap. I couldn't run w/o bringing on a blacking out level cughing fit. So I walked. And one girl after another would come up behind me, shove me in the back or dig their nails into me to try and get me to run.
So my choices were these:

  1. Just keep on till the next one shoved me off my feet, which would be perceived as misbehaving and get me sat on.
  2. Explain that I couldn't run, which would have been talking out in group which would have had me on the floor getting sat on.
  3. Run, bringing on a coughing fit and blacking out, which would have been called "attention seeking" type misbehavior and got me sat on.


So I decided that, before the beating began, I was going to get in one really good knock out blow. The next girl to come up behind me and try and shove me over got a roundhouse to the jaw backed by my full weight. Sadly, she was a really nice person who was only doing what she had to to look good and not get in trouble herself. Amazingly, NOTHING happened! I have no idea why. But I just continued walking, waiting for the mob to take me down, but it just didn't happen. I looked over my shoulder and there were a couple of girls checking on Kim and helping her up off the floor. Not a word was spoken.

I'll never understand that.

Anyway, I don't know how long it took to get to 5th phase. But, during the first week of it, I asked staff permission to take a sick day. They said "You're a 5th phaser, you can decide if you need a sick day". So I went up to the sick room upstairs and slept HARD all day. I think I did that for two or three days in a row.

But, here's the thing. It never occured to me to ask to go to a doctor. That might be seen as attention seeking or trying to avoid group. I thought that if I needed a doctor, why staff or my mother would send me to a doctor. That they didn't was, in my addled little mind, proof that it wasn't that serious.

And here I thought I was resisting the brainwashing! It's just amazing when I think back on these things.


 

Men had better be without education than be educated by their rulers.

--Thomas Hodgskin



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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline NOT12NOW

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2005, 12:09:00 PM »
I was a bed wetter until I was like 15.  During my intake they asked if I wet the bed but I was twelve, I wasn't going to say, I wet the bed and for some crazy reason parents didn't tell them.  First night the only thing I cared about was not wetting the bed; of course I wet the bed.  My old comers were freaked. I think they just didn't know what they should do with me. Do you yell at a newcomer for wetting her bed?  Their mother was however pissed--really pissed.

I told my old comers it just happened some nights but after a few weeks of it happening most nights and coming home to my mattress balanced above a fan blowing on the stain.   Robin kept me behind after rap.  She sat me in the back row with her next to me as all the other seedlings filed out. When it was a room of empty chairs she started talking.   She told me that they had called my parents and knew my bed wetting wasn't a physical problem.   They knew I was wetting the bed cause I was a druggy and lazy.  She contributed stories from her own past how when she was too lazy to get up to get up at night.

So basically they told me I could stop if I wanted to that I was just being defiant and lazy.  Oddly enough I managed to stay dry every night till I got sent home.

Later in the program, I would talk about it as a tool I used to recognize if my head was getting out of wak. If my head was getting out of wak I wet my bed I said it was,? my unconscious telling me to come down on myself.? (before the group did.)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2005, 07:34:00 AM »
OMG.  How sad and as true adults we all know its purely a physical thing.
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Offline Jupiter Survivor

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2005, 12:30:00 PM »
Makes one wonder if they were a little afraid of a REAL doctor........
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Offline Jupiter Survivor

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2005, 12:37:00 PM »
Amazing what mind control can do.  I suppose the could tell a blind kid his head was out of wack....geeezzz
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Offline landyh

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2005, 02:43:00 PM »
Yes! " What do you do when you have a headache? You have a headache" Shit this is bringing back some things I had forgotten and its kind of scary.  I am glad that I was there in the beginning when it wasn't like what I am reading and starting to remember from my second go.
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Offline TRUCKER

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2005, 01:13:00 PM »
I cant speak for the other branchs of the Seed but I knew the Doc who gave his time (free) for many years at the 84 facility. His wife was a nurse and he had a private office in Lauderdale. He treated many pts in the community that were the poor and forgotten out of his own pocket.For those that knew Dr. P. Ryser you now what a great man he was. I beleive that just like many social programs it starts with great aspirations and good intentions but with time ,money and numbers the end result becomes cloudy and harder to obtain.Could it be that the Staff members were truly misinformed (big head) or just the medical questions were never asked? Just as bed wetting was never mentioned at the intake to the Seed by the client one can see that It now becomes the Seeds fault. I belive our leaders(USA) now just like then(Seed)have vision problems. They see whats in it for them.Not what they were originally tasked to do. As far as not asking for help when one was sick I can see that the fact of asking for help(teasing) implies that one is weak.This was also the mind set of many in the armed forces. If one caught the clap he was demoated in rank and fined.How many people do you think told their higher ups? This caused even a more serious problem down the road.How many people have had back problems /fibromyalgia and have been told that it was in their head and that they need to see a head man.I no that I got of the subject but wasnt floor staff acting like this? That is  was happens when dealing in shear numbers and no accountabillty.From reading other threads it seems the end of the Seed started with a lot of finger pointing.Does it sound familar?

TRUCKER
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Offline landyh

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2005, 01:57:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-24 10:13:00, TRUCKER wrote:

"I cant speak for the other branchs of the Seed but I knew the Doc who gave his time (free) for many years at the 84 facility. His wife was a nurse and he had a private office in Lauderdale. He treated many pts in the community that were the poor and forgotten out of his own pocket.For those that knew Dr. P. Ryser you now what a great man he was. I beleive that just like many social programs it starts with great aspirations and good intentions but with time ,money and numbers the end result becomes cloudy and harder to obtain.Could it be that the Staff members were truly misinformed (big head) or just the medical questions were never asked? Just as bed wetting was never mentioned at the intake to the Seed by the client one can see that It now becomes the Seeds fault. I belive our leaders(USA) now just like then(Seed)have vision problems. They see whats in it for them.Not what they were originally tasked to do. As far as not asking for help when one was sick I can see that the fact of asking for help(teasing) implies that one is weak.This was also the mind set of many in the armed forces. If one caught the clap he was demoated in rank and fined.How many people do you think told their higher ups? This caused even a more serious problem down the road.How many people have had back problems /fibromyalgia and have been told that it was in their head and that they need to see a head man.I no that I got of the subject but wasnt floor staff acting like this? That is  was happens when dealing in shear numbers and no accountabillty.From reading other threads it seems the end of the Seed started with a lot of finger pointing.Does it sound familar?



TRUCKER"

Think my fibro might have come from those hard chairs?   :grin:  Maybe I just knew subconciously that I could get something that would work. 10/325 hyydro's Oh yeah works until you get a little tolerance and when you get to 30-35 a day the risk/reward starts to question itself. Oh shit but by then you can't quit and maybe you start to think that heroin doesn't have any tylenol in it to kill me just the part that helps but thats too scary and when the cure starts really f**king your life up you start thinking maybe the pain wasn't that bad and hope that maybe there is something left of your liver and you want to stop but your afraid to seize and, and, and it just had to be those chairs. So if your lucky you taper and climb   the walls consider yourself lucky to just have some aches and pains even if they get so bad that you don't want to get up. You wake up and realize your in a maze but you walked in of your own volition built your stores and supply lines and locked the door behind you and just where did I leave the key to get back out. And maybe you get desperate because you cn't find the key by yourself and you rant and rave and then remeber that some power one time opened that door for you and you seek that power again and hope he understands why you went back in that maze in the firt place and that he'll let you out before its to late.
"Notes from the other side"
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Whatever thou put his hand to do it with all thy might\" King Solomon

Offline Antigen

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2005, 02:19:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-24 10:13:00, TRUCKER wrote:

Could it be that the Staff members were truly misinformed (big head) or just the medical questions were never asked?


I think they just became too insular. That's what happens when you come to believe that you have "special awareness" that the masses outside the gate just don't have. (poor bastards!)

You quit listening to all critics. And, given the extreme degree of control within this insular group, you get no social proof of any dissent. So you tend to disregard your own perceptions and keep looking to you find a way to believe what everyone else seems to believe. Never mind that my mother, sleeping in the next room on the other side of the locked door probably didn't know it. See, I wouldn't want anyone to think I was trying to get attention or trying to get out of group. And there was no talking behind backs, so no one else could mention it to her.

But those were the conditions necessary to support the illusion that we were all desperate addicts in need of drastic treatment and that this drastic treatment was the only thing that would save our worthless lives.

Fucked up, huh?

Speaking for myself? I definitely needed to see a damned doctor. But it would not occure to me to ask. If staff, group, fosters and my own parents didn't see fit to send me to a doc, why then that was evidence that it wasn't too serious. Never mind that I had to sleep sitting up to avoid a coughing fit and keep breathing.



Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its
best state is but a necessary evil ---in its worst state an
intolerable one; for when we suffer, or are exposed to the same
miseries by a government, which we might expect in a country without
government, our calamities is heightened by reflecting that we
furnish the means by which we suffer!


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0679433147/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>Thomas Paine, Common Sense



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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2005, 11:32:00 PM »
Were you at the Andrews Ave Seed in 1971?
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Offline landyh

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2005, 11:38:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-12-03 20:32:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Were you at the Andrews Ave Seed in 1971?"

Sorry anon who are you asking? If me then I think I was still around in 71'. I was there for a while after the move from the little house on 3rd.
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Offline Antigen

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Did staff ever tell you something wasn't worng when it was?
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2005, 01:33:00 PM »
Hey Landy,
  I missed your post above about fibro. I don't know what's up with that. A lot of ppl have these complaints. And it's a fairly newly developed dx, isn't it? Could it turn out to be like yuppie flu?

  I think there's probably something to the claims about motivating causing longterm damage. Lot of program ppl have just the same back and shoulder probs and medical experts who have examined the question in the course of criminal, civil and regulatory investigations over the years keep on banning the practice on the grounds that it's Not GoodŽ from a medical perspective.

  I think we can all agree that, for better and/or for worse, the Program impacted all of us and our neighbors in profound and unexpected ways. And I think most of us agree that the intentions were good but that no one could have known the full, long term, unintended effects.

  I'm just thankful that I don't have a lot of back trouble. And I would be interested to see, one day, some bonafide, respectable, peer reviewed studies of these issues.

Where powers are assumed which have not been delegated, a nullification of the act is the rightful remedy.
http://lfb.com/?stocknumber=FF7485&code=10247' target='_new'>Thomas Jefferson: Kentucky Resolutions, 1798

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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