I just learned about this website from another former Hyde School family (I guess the word is beginning to spread about this website). I've read many of the critical comments about Hyde and am amazed at how similar our family's experience was. I now know that many others feel about Hyde the way our family does -- unfortunately we didn't know it when we were at the school (apparently unhappy families tend to be rather quiet about their distress -- they're afraid of how Hyde would respond to them and their kid).
I have little to add to the many accurate comments about the problems at Hyde. Sure, we saw some kids do pretty well there. But we saw many more who had a terrible experience. And that's just the students. Since we've been away from Hyde we've also heard horror stories from parents who are very hurt and angry about the way they were treated by some of the administrators and even alumni parents (in FLC's).
I now realize, more than I did when we were at the school years ago, that Hyde really does have some cult qualities. I remember standing outside one of the buildings during the Summer Challenge weekend when parents participate. I'll never forget overhearing a conversation between two Hyde staff members and a father/daughter who had decided to go to another school in the fall rather than enroll at Hyde (I was sitting on a nearby bench and could easily hear the heated conversation). The father had talked in seminar about how Hyde didn't seem to have the right resources and approach to his daughter's rather significant mental health problems. I was shocked by the Hyde staff members' forceful attempts to change the father's and daughter's minds. I felt like I was watching a brainwashing, high-pressure session. I think the staff were trying to "guilt trip" the two -- If you don't enroll at Hyde you're running away from your problems, you're not willing to face your struggles, this is where you need to be, your daughter has an attitude problem and is simply manipulating you, etc. etc. I should have realized at the time that this was typical Hyde talk. Now that I think back on it, and think about many other brainwashing conversations I experienced, it almost seems like a Jim Jones environment -- I'm your leader, you need what I have to offer, this will be good for you, don't defy me, just follow me. It's scary.
I'll also never forget my conversation with another parent after an FLC seminar. The parent came over to me and said, basically, "Listen, I know you're new at this. You seem like a real nice person who really cares about your kid. I started out just like you. I quickly learned that at Hyde you get eaten alive if you don't bare your soul and talk in depth about your own struggles. You need to learn how to play the game here, or you'll have a miserable experience. Many of us have learned the right "buzz" words to get people off our backs. Joe Gauld has created a culture that has trickled down through every level of the school. There's a Hyde script you need to learn to survive.
Since we've left Hyde we've either talked with, or learned about, former Hyde students who have been struggling big time with mental health issues that weren't addressed at Hyde. I now know of kids who have been cutting themselves since leaving Hyde, abusing drugs, contemplating suicide, and so on. In some of these cases the parents are enraged that Hyde didn't have anyone on staff to deal with these issues and wasn't willing to acknowledge them. These parents feel like the kids' current problems are partly the result of the Hyde model -- they now wish they had looked for a school that was willing to really pay attention to their kids' needs. Part of the problem is that Hyde is so big that the school doesn't individualize their approach, the way many other schools do. It's very easy at Hyde for kids to get lost in the crowd (despite what the school's PR materials say). I now suspect that Hyde is so concerned about enrollments, in order to pay the bills, that they admit as many "bodies" as possible without really focusing on each individual students' unique needs. This cookie-cutter approach is terrible for many kids and families.
Hindsight is 20-20, of course; it's too bad that so many of us didn't understand what we were getting into. I hope other parents who are considering Hyde learn from our mistakes.
