On 2005-10-12 09:19:00, Anonymous wrote:
When a parent hires a transport company to take their child, its not so the kid can be shipped out to be tortured its an intervention. Its perceived as a better alternative than prison or death.
Right, I understand that. Had that conversation w/ my dear old dad over 20 years ago. I agree w/ you, I forgave him and he apologized to me; not for the specific bone-headed moves he pulled, but for falling for an outrageous scam that cost both of us and the whole family dearly.
What I'm trying to tell you is that it is a
misperception that these coercive, toughlove behavior-mod programs are better or safer than the regular old juvenile or criminal justice system. Now, I'm saying that, not as a rebellious, angry teenager (thought I did say it back then), but as a 40yo mother of 3, one of whom used to be a very rebellious, wreckless, out of control (her own, not just mine) teenager.
In my day, it was probably better. These days, they've got behavior mod programs operating inside the juvenile/criminal 'corrections' sytem. I'm not really kidding when I say there may be a direct, causual relationship between that and the rising rate of youth suicide.
I am not familiar with these places "Seed" and "Straight" they sound horrorable.
Well, in a nutshell, same shit, different wrapper. They were (and their existing spin-offs remain) Synanon/12-step based LGA programs. The basic method of induced emotional and psychological stress, isolation and indoctrination are, verbatim, exactly the same throughout the troubled parent industry.
But there are other places where you can take your child to get the help they need. I have received advise to let the legal system teach my kid a lesson, a few months in prison will strighten the kid out, I was told. But most parents (That I have talked to) just want to rescue them from that and get them help in a different way, even if it means taking a loan on the house, in a safe enviorment where they can grow, remove them from their present life which isnt working for what ever reason. I know it is far from what many believe but it is not hatred torwards the kids that drives the parents to spend their lifes savings on their children.
Right, again, they're selling you a bill of goods. There is no safe, effective panacea. If you have a hard time being gentle and avoiding conflict w/ your kid, what makes you think these strangers in some remote po-dunk out west or offshore will be better able to pull it off?
Please stop and think about the industry's frequent use of the phrase "for whatever reason". Your kid has specific, individual reasons for whatever trouble they're having. Or maybe not. Very often in this industry, it really and truely is the PARENTS who are over-reacting. We tend to imagine the worst. Then when the kid starts to grow up and seperate from the nuclear family a bit, it gets worse. There are more unknowns. Our imaginations run wild. Then, just when we're at the verge of a total mealtdown (or past it), along comes a friendly, passionate advocate/salesman with The Answer® to all your troubles.
Maybe we are wrong but prison just sounds like a bad choice to many of us, I guess because of what we read about the way it changes people for the worse, having a record and trying to get a job after being released, maybe the prison guards are more compassionate than counselors and the inmates are supportive of each others problems but its not the way we see it when it comes to deciding which road to take. If it turns out to be a bad choice, its easy to look back and say we should have chosen prison. But we are driven by what we believe is best for our children."
First, most of these kids weren't ACTUALLY in prison. Most of these kids just have parents who ASSUME (for lack of faith in their own children) that that's the only possible outcome. These poor kids get thrown in w/ those rare few who really are psychotic, violent and dangerous. What a mindfuck, eh? Add to that that they're REQUIRED, as part of their "treatment" to confess that they are, indeed, just as fucked up as Mom ever suspected, even moreso, and so, so happy for the chance at salvation. If they try, by any means, to tell you otherwise, there are consequences.
Just do your damned homework, parents! Would you let your pedeatrician inject your baby w/ potentially deadly toxins w/o checking into the risks and benefits for yourself? Oh yeah... I almost forgot, you would and probably did, like most of us.
It's time now, in THIS generation, to resurrect a little healthy credulity. Have a little faith in yourself, your kids and the good old fashioned, unconditional familial love that have, for millennia now, gotten most of us through those awkward years between childhood and adulthood.
It's not perfect, there are no guarantees and I'm not trying to tell you that there are any guarantees. But I remain convinced that this is a
superior, more reliable, less risky and better approach to the troubling experience of watching your baby grow up and learn to work w/o a net.
Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.
-- Anonymous
