I can't remember the names of the people I met at the cleveland seed 76-77. I didn't make friends in the way many of you seemed to have. While I was in the program I believed that I loved everyone there but I didn't trust anyone; I was always, always on guard. It still amazes me when I read that some of you actually joked with other seedlings. The only laughter I shared was a sort of hysterical release to staff approved jokes. After I graduated there were only a couple of grads I trusted- after all I could always be sent back. We hung out together, none of us ever went to raps but we didn't socialize with any outsiders. We made up for not going into raps by constantly scrutinizing and correcting each other. One night several of us ran into another graduate. An older guys in his twenties named(we were all in our teens), I think, Gary?
My friends, being guys(I am a girl or shall we say chick)knew him better. We all sat and talked a long while at an ice cream parlor in Shaker Heights and when he left we talked about how clear and honest he was. Each of us said our meeting with him had made us aware of some flaw we were developing like getting our heads out of wak. We all went home swearing to do better.
The next day he was on the front page of the paper for robbing a bank.
Don't know what happened to him after that, maybe someones else out there does.
I only remember one graduate who died and again I don't remember his name. I remember he had a brother in the program too. They were very close in age. He electricuted himself in a power station. I don't remember if anyone knew if it was accidental or suicide. I remember my mother saying that she had been told he was all screwed up again but you never knew with my mother. She lied especially when she thinks it will serve her--like scaring her daughter into staying well behaved.
