I am posting my own 'Dear Art' letter here, and I hope others will too.
"Dear Art,
Hi, this is Walter. You called me Wally. I was a newcomer in '78 in Cleveland, 19 years old at the time. I was looking for some answers then, since my family seemed so screwed up, and my brother had joined the Seed and came home, seemingly transformed. I went to an Open Meeting and, after talking with Scott B., sat down on the front row. I graduated and ended up staying for 7 years.
I want to tell you that the Seed experience was a complicated one for me. I was young and confused, and it gave me definite answers to so many things. I also really thought the raps were fascinating, how a staff member could weave a spell over the group, and how much we might laugh. Some people were cryers, but not me. Anyway, I came to believe that the Seed was it, or at least that it offered an alternative to what I had found in life so far.
I really wanted adventure, and the Seed promised that we would change the world. I wanted friendship, and I was told I would have friends for life. I wanted examples to follow, and I had Scott, and Ken, and Ginger, and Lybbi, and Phil, and all of the other successful, happy graduates that were leaders.
Frankly, being 'straight' didn't mean much to me, since I hadn't been an addict at all before. I was afraid that I might turn out like others in my family though, who were clearly alcoholics, so I toed the line on that. It seemed like a small price to pay.
I also didn't like all of the rules, being separated from the girls, having to play sports I didn't like, and loosing my 'old druggie friends,' some of whom were really great people and not 'druggies' at all. But I accepted that it was all or nothing, and I did my best to be a good sport. Besides, we were changing the world.
I think one of the big attractions for me at the Seed was you - your own personal charisma. You were a strong male figure and frankly, I was estranged from my dad almost completely. And my mom was mentally ill, so I felt alone in the world and you promised to change that. You were very sure about what was right and wrong, what was masculine and feminine, how to have 'class' and how to live your life. I was hungry for that.
I have to tell you though, that I eventually left the Seed. As a seven year graduate I had begun to feel unhappy, a forbidden emotion at the Seed. I had begun to tire of the power plays in the group, the rigid hierarchy of decisions, and the fact that I felt that I could never break into the inner circle of the group, where I percieved that people lived a much better life than I did - going to school, getting married, having good jobs, etc. I didn't know how to get into this group; I believed you that being humble and serving others was they key, and I did this to the best of my ability. I now believe that the key actually was based on all the things that existed outside of the Seed - looks, charisma, athletic ablility, charm. I was shy and insecure and I was incapable of projecting those things.
Do I blame you? Yes and no. I think addiction is more complicated than the Seed led me to believe. I also feel that the Seed failed me - a lot was promised to me and I really couldn't reach those goals without a lot of non-Seed work and therapy on my part. I also think the Seed set a bad precident, an anti-democratic counterculture that some have called a cult. Me too.
But - I thank you for some great times. I learned to love Frank Sinatra and jazz becuase that was the music you liked. I abstained from sex during my Seed years, and maybe that was a good thing, because I had to mature a little bit and it's easy to hurt yourself and others with this power. I formed great friendships - all with guys of course - that ended when I left. Thanks for helping me learn to love to cook - I was always the chef in our apartment. Because of you, I gained respect for America, for the military, for traditional masculinity, and for sports.
But you know what? You left a lot out of the picture for me. There were so many things I didn't do when I was at the Seed, and I was stunted. But that' not the biggest loss. The biggest loss was that the whole Seed enterprise violated the 'first and most importand rule' - honesty. Everything had to match your will and opinions, and those of staff. Dissent was not tolerated. That is why the Seed failed, in my opinion. I also pretty much lost seven years of my life, and seven years of time with my family, all of which I had to make up.
OK, best to you, I hope you are well.
Walter"