From the Austin American Statesman:
http://www.statesman.com/metrostate/con ... kelso.html>
Bush Library would be too darned close to Deep Eddy Cabaret
by John Kelso
Friday, September 16, 2005
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I'm having a little trouble with the concept of
putting George W. Bush's presidential library in
hippie dippie Austin.
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For one thing, will this library have actual books
in it? And if so, why? Why in God's name would a
George W. Bush library contain reading material?
This is too much irony even for me. Who's going to
read to him? He doesn't like reading, so you know
he's not going to read this stuff himself.
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Has it occurred to anyone that the president might
prefer that the University of Texas System raise
$260 million to $300 million to build something more appropriate for him? That's the size of the pile of money UT says it'll need to build this library. That's way too much to spend on a library for a man who may not bother to get a card to take out books.
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Instead, why not put the money into the George W.
Bush Presidential Game Room and Big Screen TV? I
think he'd be much happier there. And you could
probably do the whole remodel for under $30,000.
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Or, since it's Bush, instead of a library, how about the George W. Bush Frat House Museum? An interactive establishment, every time you go in the door, somebody throws a beer mug against the wall. I'd visit a presidential museum like that. Heck, I might even make a donation to help build the thing.
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The UT System is offering three locations for the
Bush library รข?? two in Dallas, and the third one in Austin on Lake Austin Boulevard next to Deep Eddy Cabaret.
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This is really bad feng shui. You just don't put a
presidential library next to a beer joint. It ends
up giving the beer joint a bad name. I think the
neighbors over that way should change the zoning to make sure this doesn't happen.
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On the good side, the library would be fairly close to Chuy's and those great margaritas. So it would be conveniently located for the girls.
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I doubt if Bush will want to put his library here in Austin anyway. Why would he? He just isn't an Austin kind of guy. There's nothing here for him. You never see him at Coyote Ugly on Sixth Street. He never enters the O. Henry Punoff. And you never see him dressed up like a large woodland fairy at Eeyore's Birthday.
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And even if Bush picks Austin, will many Austinites think this is a plus? I don't think so. So the war protests and the daily eggings of the library would get old pretty darned quick.
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"I have no problem with the Bush library being
anywhere in Texas, as long as it's of a size and
character that's commensurate with that of George W. Bush," wrote freelance writer Stephen Maynard, who lives in San Antonio. "For example, a 12-by-12 room at AAA Storage in Buda would be totally
appropriate."
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Besides, what purpose do these presidential
libraries really serve? They rarely tell you the
whole story about the guy they are honoring, do
they? Show me the cigar room in Bill Clinton's
presidential library. Go ahead. Try to find it. You won't. They didn't put in a cigar room. I'll bet they don't even allow smoking.
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And I doubt if there will be a Great Moments in Air National Guard Combat History display at the Bush library either.
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John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays.
