Yeah, Artie's first day in the joint is going to go something like this:
After being shaved and de-liced, he'll be walked naked down the tier carrying just his bedroll and a jumpsuit. While he's moving toward his new cell, other inmates will be spitting on him, throwing toilet paper, cat-calling, fighting over dibs on who gets to fuck him first and shouting "New Fish! New Fish in the house!" all the while wagering on "how long he'll last."
When he finally gets to his cell and is grateful for having been escorted by a pair of CO's to relative safety, he'll be "befriended" by the guy in the cell next to him who will give him a smoke and two packs of kool-aid, one red, one purple.
While Artie smokes that cigarette, he'll be wondering "Why did this guy give me the kool-aid?" thinking, "That was awfully nice, he didn't have to do that."
Later on that night, when the general population gets released to go to chow, Artie will be told by his "new friend" to come into his cell and "Bring the kool-aid."
Artie will go into the cell thinking "I bet this is against regulations, going into someone else's cell, but I guess we're just going to make some kool-aid, have a drink and get to know one another." He'll be feeling a bit uneasy, but he'll think to himself "If we're going to be neighbors for the next 25 years, I might as well be friendly and get to know this fella."
When he gets into the "neighbor's" cell, he'll be somewhat shocked to find four men, all bearing tattoos of the Aryan Nation, glaring at him and licking their chops like he was a young, fresh girl performing her first show at the local strip club.
As the cell door slams shut behind him, he'll hear one of the men say "Let's have some fun, boys. We got fresh fish on the menu!"
Artie will then be ordered to put the red kool-aid powder on his lips and cheekbones and the purple on his eyelids, making him look like a fat, sweaty, nervous, shaved she-man.
After all of the men have had their "ride" on Artie, they'll "escort" him to chow, where they'll proceed to take his food, split it up amongst themselves and enjoy it. When they're done, the whole process of "going to chow" commences in reverse.
Enjoy yourself Artie, you sick, sick bastartd.
