IMO, You just aren't all that cool.
Tonight, I'm going to get off of my well paying job, drive my Celica GT4 home to my apartment where my beautiful girlfriend is waiting for me, cooking dinner;linguine alfredo with shrimp. Afterwards I'm going to enjoy a snort of absinthe, and maybe fuck my pretty girlfriend. Or I might just watch TV, might even make a few fornits posts!!! ...My friend is throwing a party out in Pennsylvania down by a huge lake, I'm throwing the tent in my car so we can sleep there if I'm too drunk to drive.
Your life just isn't one I'd want, sorry old man, you can have your maturity and suck on it....