It is actually an invalid point. Many parents do own up to the fact that they are a big part of the problem in the family and with the teen. This still does not mean the situation can be corrected without the teen going away for therapy and to be out of the toxic home and community environment. Julie acts like all it takes is for the parent to say "Oh. I'm a bad parent. Now I'll change and little Johnny can stay home and won't get arrested for drugs and will suddenly want to to to school and won't terrify his little sister with his raging."
Then you're not reading the same posts of hers that I am. It takes much more than just owning up to being a shitty parent and it does not need to include sending the kid away. It takes actual changes from the parents, not talk and not blaming the kids. Not the kind like 'oh I fucked up in being to lenient so now it's time for tough love' mentality either. It's a long process.
What bothers folks of your ilk (julie, DJ etc) is that there actually are good programs out there and many of the parents who post on ST have success stories. That just makes you crazy, doesn't it?
I've been looking over at ST and I don't really see too much activity over there. It bothers me that people
believe[/b] there are good programs out there. It makes me crazy that kids are still going through this shit, but you guys? Nah.
You pick on Karen. From what has been posted to the point of absurdity, it appears that she had one kid in a program for one year. The kid left Carlbrook without finishing the program and went to a boarding school. He is now in college. It does not appear that he was abused or that his parents hated him or treated him so badly that he will never get over it.
I'll give you that it gets absurd at times, but I have to say in Karen's case it's well deserved. I'd be hard pressed to think of a more pompous, judgemental, conceited, superficial parent that's come on here. I was out of my program for about 10 years before I finally understood what happened to me in there. You seem to think as long as the kids aren't being beaten that they're safe. That's delusional. You think that there isn't going to be any damage from forcing someone to change against their will. You think that teens in captivity having enormous power over other teens isn't harmful.
Unlike you, it very much would appear that the kids of the parents you attack have moved on with their lives in a way you can't even fathom. As have the parents.
You have no idea who I am or anything about me other than what you've read here. How can you justify making a complete judgement about someone without knowing them? And again, talk to some of the kids after they've been out for a number of years.
The reason they don't stay around this forum isn't because they can't stand to face the terrible thing they did to their kids, but because the forum is such a trash pit of insults and misinformation.
Yes, insults abound here at Fornits. No denying that but you need to understand where we're coming from. Most of us are survivors of extremely abusive programs. We see these programs today, we research, we listen (I know you don't believe that but we do, well quite a few of us anyway) and what we invariably find is that there really isn't much of a difference between then and now. Slicker sales pitches maybe, they've honed their marketing skills and scare tactics but that's really about it.
A parent might drop by to toy with you for awhile- sort of like playing solitaire on the computer, but it gets boring and they move on.
My interest in the industry is not as a parent, but it takes about 5 minutes on this forum to figure out that the regular posters are pretty dysfunctional, socially retarded misfits.
I know, I know. It's so much easier to dismiss what we say when you see us like that.
The information exchanged privately by members of ST is much more valuable. Contrary to your impression, not all of this information is program-speak.
It obviously can't stand up to public scrutiny.
Many of these parents are extremely intelligent, successful professionals (which is why you attack them, I suppose) and cut through the spin of a program pretty quickly. You underestimate them.
They're attacked on here because they're intelligent, successful professionals? What the hell are you talking about? Why are you people so fucking self-righteous?
It would be helpful if you stopped living in the past when there were, in fact, a number of abusive and poor programs for teens.
Again, you know nothing about me. I don't live in the past. I'm worried about what people that believe as you do are doing to kids. If this shit had stopped when my program was shut down, I wouldn't be here. but they didn't. They spun out of control.
This is not the case today, and your goal should be to unearth the ones that are still harmful.
This is what you people never seem to understand. You can't make them NOT harmful. They entire premise is flawed from the start. You can't dress it up, tone it down or anything else to change that. It's fundamentally the same thing. They all use the therapeutic community approach. I don't even think that's helpful for consenting adults but I damn sure know it's destructive as hell to a kid with no choice
Your position that all programs are evil is simply not correct and not supportable.
Yes it is. We've given you research and studies to show that but you dismiss anything that doesn't support your decision.
You have destroyed your credibility along with this website by your bashing of all programs and of parents. All that has been accomplished is to amuse each other, which is really a pathetic statement about your reason for existing.
Wrong again. I can think of at least a dozen kids off the top of my head that have been pulled out of programs as a direct result of reading here and then contacting people off the boards. Shit, I just had a parent,
today ask me to email them about Hyde.
I know this is a new concept to you, but it really is time to grow up and focus your efforts on something that is more than a figment of your imagination or a desperate need to hang onto past wrongs done to you by ex-husbands, employers or parents.
You condescending asshole! And you wonder why you get slammed in here. :roll: