Author Topic: Missing Alumni  (Read 13630 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #60 on: August 07, 2005, 05:30:00 PM »
i looked at my parents first, second and third, then  I looked closer at MMS and day by day its harder to deny the negative impact of MMS- not right at this moment, but when i left and during my time there.  who knows maybe still effects me now- guess would have to say of course it does, all abuse you carry with u in some form...anyways,  my parents were easily fooled, desperate and pathetically helpless, but they didnt hurt me while i was at mms, john coleen the rest of em did.  i have my own bone to pick with each tho.

btw who cares what parent apporve of?  besty, i dont understand why it would be their fault mms hurt me and others?  please explain what your point is and why that would matter.
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #61 on: August 07, 2005, 07:07:00 PM »
ditto for me, my parents didn't know and they regret it- well, my mom does- my dad has lost much of his mental capacity, but he would likely agree otherwise.

While I'm angry that my parents weren't more thourough, I also understand my mom's limited capacity for good judgements, especially in moments of great stress.  Don't get me wrong, I love her but she's not a very good parent, especially in that respect and I've accepted that.  It's also hard to know.  MMS does look good and perhaps in theory behavior modification should be effective, but the problem is staff yield way too much power and influence.  Some girls can become favorites and others scape goats.  there is not outside accountability. Like i've said many time before and will repeat here again, it's like out governement.  There is a reason for the checks and balances.  MMS does not have that. OTher former staff have called John a tyrant and he is very much one.  There is not check- well, except maybe Colleen, but really, what kind of check is that?

Again, fear and therapy, I just don't see how they go hand in hand well and for the purpose of being effective. Unless you're Machiavelli, then perhaps... but where are the morals there?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #62 on: August 07, 2005, 10:20:00 PM »
Okay, so I support the school and it did for me what it was "supposed to do" but why when someone post a supporitve post you assume it was Betsy??
Im not the only supporter of MMS and this site make me sick....

you are all so mean and hateful and why not get up and make an example, like Kat is doing....if MMS was that sooooo BAD and truly did mess up your life.
Plus why not go work on yourself alittle bit more and deal iwth what happened...if anything did happen. Stop being so mean and hateful....Kat has been able to find the middle ground and im proud of her for that....why not follow in her footsteps.
Betsy
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #63 on: August 08, 2005, 11:31:00 AM »
Betsy, the only point that I can see where someone may be mean it when saying it's a stupid point.  I actually agree, but maybe being more tactful about it was what was lacking.

I don't really understand the point someone wat trying to make when they say that we need to look to our parents for what happened at MMS?
Afterall, part of the problem is you can't be critical of the school without being called 'manipulative'  and also, parents aren't really there- they have no idea....  

And, again, in many ways the entire methodology of MMS and schools like it seems so barbaric and 'middle ages' to me that it's hard to understand why anyone would defend it as a viable alternative to real help offered by real professional who have qualifications to do so.

It seems to me indicative of a much larger societal problem involving many factors, but especially they was in which parents really can't afford to be parents anymore and it's a rat race for economic survival.  I'm sure the problems are much more complex than that- but far as I can tell parents are not only struggling to afford the life they are accustumed to, to offer kids the best when the best means a much easier life than not.  People are not taught to be good parents nor good citizens and it seems to me, as consequence our 'democracy' is failing miserabley, kids are behaving in ways that are reflective of this hypocracy- parents are citizens of the 'free' society but feel helpless as citizens.  On the one hand the push for equal oppurtunity with the reality that most of us won't get that- there are certain requirements to reach the upper echilons of power- namely you're a man, white and connected.  This heirarchy and clear oppression of many is much easier to see as a kid I think, before you've nromalized the whole thing in your mind, in your goals/ideals and in your language.  As I see it, parents are the problem, but society as a whole has a much bigger problem that involves who yields the power in our society, who esablishes the framework in which we all have to exist?  

IT's also the contention of the typical crisis of liberalism- rights of capitalists vs. human rights. where do the rights of kids come into play if it interferes with so many people making so much money?  

We have a group of elite few that makethe rules we play by and they don't want to value the work of the home- it invades the private realm (and yet somehow government involvement in marriage isn't to personal, right?) , what has been traditionally women's labor and women are tired of getting the shitty end of the deal (being domestic laborers with no pay,  limited involvment in public realm outside of home) but until family life is restructured and as a society we begin to value as a public service the work of the home. we will have many unahppy women- frequently isolated (rightly so, I think- we're social creature who need to feel pride and accomplishment, and not just via our children!)or women that have to balance work outside of the home with home responsibilities ... stay at home dads make up less than 1% of the population and women still make less than men.  I guess what I'm saying here is that women and men (they pay a heavy price for this structure too) can't be the best parents they are capable of being if they are unhappy and struggling- constantly stressed and worried.

I see this as a far more complex problem that is indicative of our current state on a much larger scale.  I think the world kids are growing up in today is so complicated and to filter out truth from falsehood is getting increasingly difficult.  One the one hand, like family life for instance, we say women are free to work, what more do they want?  It's not that simple.  You have to aknowledge the structure that has been present from the past to allow present to be what it is  and address the coercive elements.  But most people don't really think that way, don't examine things much deeper than, 'they are free now, what are they complaining about' same goes for blacks, immigrants, etc.  My sense is teens, esp outcasts feel this hypocracy deeply and act out.  Instead of trying to sort any of this out we send them to boot camps to excersize their pains, as if pain is only personal injury- and societal problems are not...

I will tell you I always felt so ashamed at having money while I would see people living on the streets, that immigrants from my famlies coutnry had to beg for jobs from us and that many people thought they were superior to the poor and to immigrants.  I found it repulsive and it was one of the many reasons why I was so miserable.  There was no place to become empowered and certainly MMS did not give that to me.  
Empowerment was not something I obtained at MMS, they neither gave me the oppurtunity nor the resources nor the support to grow strong.  They tore me down, broke my spirit, killed my ability to think, robbed my of a few years of education and left me dizzy with rhetoric to boot.[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-08-08 08:33 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Offline lablah

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« Reply #64 on: August 23, 2005, 08:02:00 PM »
The only Kat I know I think of  every time I see blu star ointment.
I don't talk with anyone from the school except Mike and Deb.  They will always be pretty amazing to me.  After their son died though, I didn't feel like talking with anyone.  I just saw Mike and Deb last week for the first time since right after J died.  

Tamara rocks, but I haven't seen her in a few years, I miss lot's of girls from there. But I don't miss the school.  Fuck em.  
I have a great attachment to the environment & many of the students but beyond that I could give a rat's ass.  

I hope all is well with everyone.
-la
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #65 on: August 24, 2005, 07:36:00 PM »
la?  as in... intern at schooL?  when i first got there, you were working there, if that's you.  that's awesome you're still in touch with mike and deb.  i sent them a card a few years back but never heard from them... i miss them!  they definitely were amazing people.
-sarah
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #66 on: August 26, 2005, 11:08:00 AM »
Hey Laurel,

it's kat.  damn!  11 years! How you been?  Dang, I don't even know what to say!  Did you go to the reunion?  

So, you went back to MMS as a staffer, how was that? what are you up to now?

Of course, you and Mike had a very special bond, that was clear to all of us.  It would seem sensible to me you would be fond of him.  I thought he was a jerk, but maybe i would of felt differently had i been in you position . who knows.

Also, why do you say 'fuck em'?

talk to you soon!

kat
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Offline lablah

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« Reply #67 on: August 26, 2005, 01:24:00 PM »
Kit-Kat:

I'm well.  I live in Vallejo Ca, work as a manager and a director for perinatal education and womens health for a large HMO.  

I don't really have much to say about MMS.  It has been a long time. Being a staff, well I found out it's not something I would ever want to do as a career.  I'm appreciated and respected at my current job, and have been here since the end of 99 and I still dig it.  

Like I said Kit-Kat, I don't have much to say about MMS.  It was a different deal for everyone, I'm over it. So call it a no-talk, or whatever...
but when I say fuck em' I mean I have written the school off as well as the administration.  So, no I didn't go to the reunion, the invitation specified "for supporters" of MMS.  

I hope all is well with you.
-LA
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #68 on: August 26, 2005, 06:59:00 PM »
My invite didn't say anything about being supporter as prerequisite to attending reunion (see below) but 'spose that may go without saying anyway.  

La, glad to here all is good in your world.


Dear MMS Alumni-
 
Last week I sent out a ³test² message to a few dozen of you to see if there would be enthusiasm and ability to attend a Mission Mountain School Reunion in August. The overwhelming response has been ³yes². Thanks to the many of you who responded to that. So, we have scheduled the first Mission Mountain School Founders' Day and  Reunion for Sunday August 14th.  This will also honor Gary's (one of the founders)  retirement. I am still working on the details, but we will likely do a BBQ on campus that afternoon, set up a volleyball net, etc. from 11-7.

This email will go to about 90 people whose addresses I have. In a couple weeks we will have an invitation made that will be sent to all whose street addresses we have. Over the years we have maintained a database of alumni. But you guys move, your parents move, people get unpublished numbers, etc. So we canıt reach everyone, but weıll do our best!

In the meantime, please RSVP by August 1, 2005 to one of the following, and tell us who will come with you, as your family members are welcome:
Email   info@missionmountain.com
Phone   406-754-2580 ext. 3119
FAX     406-754-2470
Mail:
MMS
PO Box 980
Condon, MT 59826
attn: Colleen
Hope you can make it!
Sincerely-
Colleen Harrington
MMS
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #69 on: August 26, 2005, 07:26:00 PM »
I guess the mailed out invitation specified "supporters".  But not that initial "test" one.  Oh well... It was a fun time, good to see old friends.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #70 on: August 26, 2005, 09:33:00 PM »
Given the employee of MMS said she didn't go because she did not support the school, and said:
Quote: but when I say fuck em' I mean I have written the school off as well as the administration.

She seems to have had a bad experience. A person who had a good experience at a place and who felt they were handling the children properly would not say fuck em'.

LA, it seems you don't want to talk abou it and that is understandable. You have moved on and are doing well in your life. But what if someone were to need you to testify about what you saw there? Would you be willing? And why is it a no-talk? Why not share your experiences, what you saw, etc.? Do you think they would retaliate or something?

I sounds like some girls have considered filing lawsuits against the school for the wrongs that were done to them. Having testimony from an ex-staffer would really help them. Just wondering....
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #71 on: August 26, 2005, 10:54:00 PM »
I would just like to know how the current students are doing. This is because I have a loved one attending this institution. I would like to hear from people who went to the reunion and actually interacted with the girls. I would like to know if it is as bad as it was in the past, and what if anything, they found improved or otherwise. I will look forward to hearing from someone. Thanks.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #72 on: August 27, 2005, 12:23:00 AM »
Since some people here have loved ones at MMS right now it would be nice if others would share their experiences at the reunion. I'm with the last anon, please do share. Thanks.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #73 on: August 27, 2005, 01:21:00 PM »
it was awesome seeing the girls there... they looked really happy and healthy.  we got to sit and talk with them, whoever we wanted.  they were eager to hear about our lives after MMS and share what they were doing at the school now.  they weren't being abused.  they weren't being secluded from us.  They were eating the same bbq food we were.  :smile:  It was great to see current students!!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #74 on: August 27, 2005, 08:39:00 PM »
Good to hear. Either they put on a great front, which of course they could do, or things have improved. It would be my hope, for the sake of the girls, that things have improved and that life there is better for the girls now than it was for some of you who had horrible experiences.

It would be nice to hear from more of you. There's a new topic dedicated to talking about reunion experiences, for those who would like to share.
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