LSD would make me set my hair on fire, kill my mother, and, thinking I could fly,jump out of a window while staring at the sun until I went blind.
Pot would make me jack off constantly if I couldn't find an old lady to rape after a long night on my parent's couch (I would still be living in their home at age 45).
After using cocaine once, I would be hooked so bad that I would give HIV+ Haitian fags blow jobs for spare change in order to finance my habit.
Amphetamines would make me walk in circles for days, while constantly looking around for hidden CIA microphones and DEA surveillance cameras.
Ecstasy, after one use, would turn me into a drooling Parkiinson's patient.
Heroin would get me hooked after one use, after which I would inject it into my spine, genitals, or eyeballs on an hourly basis.