Peninsula Village

[Nihilanthic]

I basically had two modes; totally passive, submissive, obedient even and pissed the fuck off. No idea at ALL how to gage the veracity of whatever suspicions crossed my mind or how to deal peacefully and respectfully w/ conflict resolution.

God! I got bullied into several bad long term relationships just that way.

Sounds like me.

I wonder if we're made this way through parenting, or born this way, or something about society creates people like us, but I know it ain't just me.

It really sucks having only two modes, pussy and psycho, but at least where one fails the other usually works. The problem is sometimes the result I get isn't what I had intended  :rofl:

[Anonymous]

The guys at college are not kids, they are nineteen or twenty, the stories they told were as graphic, sexual and pointed at me as you could get?  I think the kid you were talking about was a kid and probably just repeating things he got of TV.  Sexual harassment isn't a myth or paranoia.  I didn't drop the before mentioned example because it was one of long term sexual harassment, only an example of the kind of "jokes" that count as sexual harassment.  If it continued for days, as it often has, then it is worth reporting.  I went to high school in a small school.  At thirteen I ate lunch with the eighteen year olds.  I agree that the "jokes" should be pointed at you perhaps, these "jokes" were told to me?  This example was not a very good one, legally, but as far as the kind of stuff that is sexually harassing it is relevant.   Sexually aggressive behavior, in speech or action, is threatening, and it makes life horrible when you are a teen and have to deal with the C word every day, whether it is said to you, your friend or the entire room in the context of a "joke".  Sexual harassment, is real.  I can relate to the sock story though,

[Anonymous]

I also did not mean teens who are reported for sexual harassment should be beaten up or something.  I do think schools need to teach about sexual harassment, no kid should have to hear the Cu word everyday.  I don't think schools now do at all and kids get caught up in the crowd and repeat stuff they see in the media. I know in high school at fourteen or so, I heard "do you want to suck my bleep", at least three times a week, directed at me or another girl.  At fourteen I hadn't kissed a guy really yet, I was a geek.     There is also something of a difference, reacting to having someone touch your sock and reacting to being backed up against a wall, while a guy makes pelvis thrusts in your direction, talks about ejaculation while the other guy talks about a(*&(* sex?  That doesn't belong in schools or work, mainly because you have to be in those places.  I didn't say anything at the time because I felt threatened, also it is so common, saying something would do nothing except have people respond as you' all did.  
I like what you said about rage then wimpy though, rage them wimpy, I agree this is relevant to PST from programs.
 In the PV program, I felt more sexually harassed than I felt like I was taught to think it was bad and report it?  They make you feel like you deserve it. PV loves to beat you up in relation to sex, reminded me of lunch table conversations, "I know you would like too, I know you want to, Your just a little (*&(*& aren't you"  This is to a thirteen year old virgin, of course.  It was a small private school, middle school and high school was in the same buildings and eight graders ate lunch with high school kids, not a good system.  PV never said anything against sexual harassment that I remember.  This would be admitting that maybe some of the girls in there, who had suffered sexual abuse, actually had been victimized.  They were far more proponents of the "you deserved it school" and the "well what were you doing there" school.  Protestations like, "I had to go to school" were ignored with loud stupid party slogans, and more sexual harassment from staff, They wanted you to go into details about your molestation and such.  They love weird sexual details.  They like to make you describe being abused over and over again.

[ZenAgent]

Yeah...another article on PV's homerun king, Andrew Klepper, with some interesting comments at the end.   Keep in mind, these comments were written before he violated his probation.  When the details of his latest arrest came out, it became clear he never had to honor the terms of his probation anyway.  Should he have been tried as an adult?  I don't know...  He did some planning that was very mature.  Ask the first escort he victimized whether she thinks justice was served.

http://silverchips.mbhs.edu/inside.php?sid=1225

Rich little psychos run free...Times like this, I rely on faith in my personal Lord and Savior, the True Black Jesus, and Jack Daniels, Black as well.

[Anonymous]

hey, I think I went to high school with these kids! speaking of sexual harassment. could I be any more of a proponent of HOME SCHOOLING.  Throw the little thirteen year old girl to the wolves then yell at her when she "cry's wolf."  New england farmhouse, near the Canadian border, ten acres, a couple of great danes and an electric fence, I was imagining my dream home, and it had a moat, I was actually imagining myself digging the moat, and redirecting water form a nearby stream.  How's that for PTS? I started doing it as an exercise to help me fall asleep, I got it out of a book at work. needless to say I couldn't, I became far too involved with building the moat and surrounding the house with electric fencing.  
I know I compare all this stuff to communism and such, but at least we can speak about it in this country with out being arrested, I am praying.  Law can be good when it protects people

[Anonymous]

Again I think they took this kid for public relations purposes, "look see they are bad enough to beat."  I feel really bad for the kids in group with him though, and I wouldn't want to be around him with an axe!!!  When I was in, I was not in with girls like above guy.  We had the anorexic pianist, who's mom was an alcoholic.  We had the anorexic overachiever asian girl, not a stereotype sorry, but she was, I think she had chemical depression, sad for no reason type.  The state kid with good grades on the basketball team with Jehovah's witness grandma, before mentioned.  Girl who lived with aunt and cousins had been molesting her, also no drug use at all. Aunt kicked her out when she told her she had been molested by her sons, nineteen year old neighbor guy took her in, she ran home, aunt turned her over to PV through state. Cousins molesting her for sure.  Molestation case with pregnancy, that was a cute story, abusive family.  A party girl someone had told Ruffee's were cool and she woke up naked on a school playground to cops.  Again do we notice a sexual abuse theme?  a lot of the girls, it was the main problem.  thirteen year old, divorce situation, wasn't doing well in school, had written some odd stuff in diary, father seized custody  and put her in PV.  thirteen year old ate some aspirin, two state kids who had run away and ran the gauntlet, the "prostitutes" ones story ended with her having the crude kicked out of her and being left in a ditch.  Girl grandfather had molested, parents put in PV The gay occasional pot smoker with Christian parents, don't come out to the Christians!! Seventeen year old rich cocaine dealer kind of, in college all ready, an arts school, very very pretty, some old rich guy had gotten her into it, she thought she was cool or something.  The state kid, didn't do any drugs, fourteen I believe, they restrained ALL the TIME, and left in the straight jacket, had already been there like two years, she was normal just had unfit parents and ran away and caused a fuss.  Kids with semi unfit parents who had run away from them and foster care, the one would run home then run back to foster care, so they both reported her as a run away.    Another ran away to boyfriends, in foster care unfit parents, she liked Danzig and was practicing witch craft. Danzig is bad but should not be enough to get you put in a prison camp.  That really is most of them I can remember, oh chemical depression kid some cutting, dramatic little scratch things, no drugs, drinking anything.
So you see not really criminals?  I think the boys side is probably even worse than the girls, especially if they take people like the above guy!  Some of the boys though I'm sure are nice people really.  The girls I was in with were actually nice girls, I don't harbor bad feelings toward any of them, God bless them please!  I care about them.  They were good people even in the face of having PV try to force them to abuse others.  If there is a God they are not in the wrong in this situation and they acted well, and honorably.

[Anonymous]

WNF, I think you might be a lot more content with life if you could learn to stop obsessing about sex so much. Get some or don't get some, with a man, a woman, yourself or whatever. It doesn't make any difference to the rest of us. But I think your obsession with finding harassment in every word and action you observe around you is really unhealthy. There are people who can help you figure this out and learn to deal...just like there are people who can help you recover from PV.

[ZenAgent]

Again I think they took this kid for public relations purposes

Klepper?  Public relations?  No, I don't think so.  Maybe some Village idiot thought that...no, taking him was based wholly on the fact he was private pay.  It was a monumental fucking failure in terms of "public relations", and PV tries to bury the fact the Hank Aaron of whoredom was there.  No, I'm not disrespecting that age-old profession, either, so please don't start...

[psy]

The guys at college are not kids, they are nineteen or twenty, the stories they told were as graphic, sexual and pointed at me as you could get?

I think if they wanted to boink you they would have avoided such behavior around you.

I think the kid you were talking about was a kid and probably just repeating things he got of TV.

it makes life horrible when you are a teen and have to deal with the C word every day, whether it is said to you, your friend or the entire room in the context of a "joke".

What's the C word?  Cunt?  Clit?  Cock? Cum?  Which one?  Oh me oh my... A college student says such a word in passing...  and it's harassment to you?!?!  That is fucking insane.

Threatening is relative.  So is offensive.  You ne.ed to go to rotten.com and take a look around.  (PS: it was my ex-girlfriend's favorite site...  she introduced it to me...  Is that harassment?)  I get threatened when i see mushrooms.  I have a phobia of mushrooms.  If you throw me a mushroom at me, i will be terrified.  If you threaten to throw one at me, i will feel threatened.  I am so so so so glad i told them "i'm allergic" in program or they would have surely used that one on me.

Sexual harassment, is real.  I can relate to the sock story though,

Look... I may be being an asshole about this, but i think you might want to consider that you might just be a teeny tiny bit over-sensitive to this... to the point where it imposes unrealistic expectations on others.  You can't expect everybody else to know about your past automatically.  What?  Do you want a society where everybody is afraid speak, lest they offend somebody?  THAT fucking offends me.  I suggest you read Ray Bradbury's "Farenheit 451".  Fuck censorship.  It's a slippery slope, and before you know it, you'll be on the ass end of it.

Your parents, from what you have described... now they are abusive.  And PV was abusive...  But from the situations you describe about some guys telling stories around you?  no... that is not harassment...  Is the guy telling the story harassing the other guys?  answer that question.  What makes you so special.

[Anonymous]

Again, this is a 24 year old woman, who is listening to a bunch of teenage college guys talking.  If she doesn't like their manner of talking, or the sublject; she can walk away; and not listen.

[psy]

In the PV program, I felt more sexually harassed than I felt like I was taught to think it was bad and report it?  They make you feel like you deserve it. PV loves to beat you up in relation to sex, reminded me of lunch table conversations, "I know you would like too, I know you want to, Your just a little (*&(*& aren't you"

I heard that all the time in group, when they were calling girls out...  They never did it to the guys.  Promiscuity was expected from them.. Sure they were punished for sex in program, but they weren't blasted in group the same amount.  People were meant to feel that sex was dirty... That they were dirty because they had sex.  

This is to a thirteen year old virgin, of course.  It was a small private school, middle school and high school was in the same buildings and eight graders ate lunch with high school kids, not a good system.  PV never said anything against sexual harassment that I remember.  This would be admitting that maybe some of the girls in there, who had suffered sexual abuse, actually had been victimized.  They were far more proponents of the "you deserved it school" and the "well what were you doing there" school.

Yup:  "You ne.ed to take responsibillity and realize how your actions caused that to happen!"... I know it well.  It's beyond fucked up.  Then want to make the victim feel at blame.  It's so sick, and I feel sorry for anybody who had to go through it.  It's twisting a knife in the wound.

You can't predict the future, and as such, there was no way you could have known... and you did all that you could in the situation, with the knowledge you had.  You were a victim.  Fuck what program said.  I hope you realize the level of sick programs stoop to in this respect.  If you haven't talked to a shrink about what happened, i recommend you do.  Shit like that doesn't wear off easily.  If you PM me i'll tell you some things I was called out in group on regarding this same shit... and how they made me feel dirty.. impure... as if I am a sickness, a stain...  No I haven't been the same since.  I never was shy before.. I would go up to people and ask them out...  Being shy is one of the things I really can't forgive program for...   I wish I felt as comfortable as I used to, not worry about things, not be self-conscious...  have confidence in who I am...  Once they put doubt there, I'm not sure if it ever goes away.

I used to be really goth for a while, wear fishnet shirts.  skintight pvc... stuff like that.  I was proud of the way i looked.  After program... Long sleeved shirts, no shorts.  Afraid to show anybody who I look like.. afraid they will be repulsed...  Then I remembered what i believed before program:  why should I give a shit what others think about how I look.  If they are going to judge me on outward appearances, they're shallow assholes i really don't want to know anyway.

My therapy?  I did a nude self portrait for Drawing II... Several others did too in the class.  It let me feel more comfortable about my body, who I am, etc...  An unbelievable amount of anger came out during that project.  I'm fucking furious they made me care about what others think about my appearance.

Protestations like, "I had to go to school" were ignored with loud stupid party slogans, and more sexual harassment from staff, They wanted you to go into details about your molestation and such.  They love weird sexual details.  They like to make you describe being abused over and over again.

And I can understand how that can make you feel uncomfortable when you hear others talking about it.  It's too close to program.  Lots of things are for me too.  But try and force everybody else to change just to avoid offending you.  Most people are nice enough that you don't have to...  Confidence?  Do you have the confidence to say "guys, that's enough... k... just because.. k"  Program kinda encourages you not to speak out.  But you'll feel better if you learn to.  Take an acting class maybe...

[ZenAgent]

Yeah, what IS the "C" word?  Is it "cretin"?  Because if it is, damn I've been verbally abusive to these motherfuckers I work with.  Just in case, I'll go back to calling them "cunts".

[Anonymous]

ok then, I give up.  :roll: I hope the point was illustrated well for any parents reading this.

[ZenAgent]

Gotcha!  I'll pass it on to the youngsters, once I figure out what the point was.  Not that they'll give a dead rat's blazing ass in hell, and they'll probably quote Burroughs to me:

"Never proffer sympathy to the mentally deranged, it is a bottomless fucking pit..."

They know more than most of us think.

[Anonymous]

I'm not deranged?  I didn't know that klepper was in PV so when I read something about prostitutes and baseball bats it scared me.  rat's ass is not sexual harassment but sexual harassment is real.  I don't like to hear girls at PV stereotyped, you are all pretty male and ignorant as far as such things go.  You said you are bi?  not you zen,   bi and gay friends I have had get sexually harassed a lot by guys.  everyone  says somewhat explicit things often too?  girl friends and I can get pretty raunchy when we talk, but is is not sexual harassment.  It is different when guys sexually harass my gay friend then when we say something gross? It has a bullying angle?  And of course a sexual one.  The point is if you speak out you get stupidity.   the difference is like two racist guys cornering a black guy and telling racist jokes, it is different then people joking or talking about sex.  In high school the sexual harassment was very sexually abusive, TV portrays many very sexist stereotypes of women, I am so sick of stereotyped ho's and strippers, for the love of God, on the TV.  C word is not ok to call the thirteen year old in school if you are seven teen?  again I think I was in high school with klepper?  There is a difference between that guy and a normal person saying fuck you or something.  By the way fuck you'all!