Peninsula Village

[exhausted]

I'm wondering whether you have an attachment disorder, or have become institutionalised in your own home? That wouldn't be a surprise as you've more than likely been taught that you are rubbish and need someone else to run your life for you.  :x

All that everyone else has said is sound advice, it's not easy to just up & leave when you've been made to feel you can't make it alone out there, that you are nothing without certain people - I have had this conversation before with someone else who really has had the confidence beat the hell out of them!

Can you join a lifekills course? An assertiveness course? it might give you just a little boost to realise your potential as a person who can live away independently - you are still being abused and I don't think you can see it

You'd probably find that living away from your parents will bring a healthier relationship between you.....I met this total nut job guy once who spoke to me about removing ALL negative influences from my life, even if it meant my mother, at the time I was thinking he was just out of his head on drugs (which he was) but then as time went on, I knew he was right on that particular point, the abuse has never gone away because it happened, I'll always carry it round with me, but I cope with it far better now .... if you can get away, you'll understand what i mean later on

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Yet another case for the file labeled:
 DAMAGE DONE BY PENINSULA VILLAGE









member of Covenant Health

[nimdA]

triple postage.. urrrk.

[nimdA]

I really don't know anyone in the area my parents live?  I was engaged, so I lived with my fiance for four years.  When we broke it off, I moved into an apartment in an ok/ affordable neighborhood where I was assaulted.  Right after getting out of PV at eighteen, my mother was being her normal horrible self, and she kicked me out.  I moved in with a twenty seven year old who also wanted to get married. I had no where else to go and my parents gave me no money.  They were very supportive of me being with the twenty seven year old, my mother to this day says I broke his heart and such and he was the nicest quality person.  Now as an adult, still younger than him, I think it is sick and I don't see what a eighteen year old wife could possibly have to offer an adult?  When she kicked me out at eighteen, i had no car and the boyfriend left for work early so I had no way to get to my college classes.  I still need to retake a class from then to graduate, from the state school I had to transfer too.  I was going to an all womens private college but my father was such a bastard about the cost I had to transfer to the state school, which cost me time and credits.  It was implied that if I did I might get to move out but no luck.  
I can't live on campus beacause I am accepted as a continuing education adult student, probably because I have next to no highschool credits, I am afraid to list behavioral prison camp!!  I know literally no-one in the area my parents live, where I moved home too after being assaulted.  I am older then most of the kids in school and I don't talk about such things at work.  I live of campus and just go for classes, I work and go to school all the time.  I am simply going to start canvassing the area for potential roommates, they can't be worse than these.  My parents also gave me no money while I was living with fiance number two.  I get payed part time at work, so I get paid nothing and no health care, which my father bitches about all the time, even though I have given them over a thousand dollars sense Christmas.  I also still work about thirty hours a week.  I try to give them money but there is no change in their behavior.  I try to be nice, walk on eggshells and such, but they are still very abusive.  The only reason I moved home at all, assault or not is because my parents told me some big story about buying a condo to retire in that i could live in until they decided to move out of the house they have now.  It was a done deal, but of course got home, no condo.    If I want to finish in a year I have to go to school full time, or almost, and therefore, I can't afford to live.  I need a roommate ASAP, I think, then I could almost afford to live.  My parents again, have a brand new sixty thousand dollar Mercedes, we are hardly poor although the way my father acts, you would think we are destitute.  I've been reading a great book on brainwashing and wow do they ever use it in places like PV, my family is like the Soviet KGB what fun.  I am terrified of these people, and I already have post traumatic stress.  You know how you feel when you have butterflies in your stomach, I feel like that all the time.  I feel really scared all the time, I have this hollow feeling right between my rib cage, not some I am hollow inside melodrama, the feeling you get when you stand on the high dive and look down, It's a big ball of anxiety.  I can't sleep I have nightmares, so I am exhausted a lot and I have my psycho mother, bursting into my room to yell about trash bags, or everytime I go downstairs to eat picking at how I take the milk out of the fridge, I'm not exagerating, it's five things everytime I go down to get food. not normal nagging, it's violent and everytime I say anything it gets really violent. she stands really close to you too,  I'm neat too, so she has nothing to yell about but she does anyway, anyone you can find something if you look hard enough?  I have only stayed here because It thought I could put up with it till I graduated, but I forgot how horrible they are, I think we want to believe our family are good people, but I have realized  these people are not anything like good people, I am having trouble even seeing the good in them.  THis actully is good I feel less guilty, not because I want to, I was always ready to take all the guilt and have them be ok, but because they are so over the top even denial can't ignore them.  Interestingly too, and I am not nuts, my computer crashed! The exact same thing happened last time I tried to post stuff about PV.  For no reason, I don't down load music or anything.  It didn't even catch a virus it just crashed, it won't even turn on now, although it froze for a while, I have access to other computers though of course.  What does that mean? nothing I guess although it seems to much coincidence for it to have happened twice when I posted stuff about PV, over a period of time?  It doesn't crash for no reason any other time?  Is that possible? It can't be?  I would be careful though what I say anywhere, though.

I want you to know that what I'm about to post shouldn't be taken as a personal attack in anyway. Please take this into consideration when you read the following post.

It doesn't matter what your parents did. It doesn't matter what they are doing now. It doesn't matter what they have parked out in the driveway. It doesn't matter how many times you have been engaged, or what colleges you have gone to.

What matters is what you do from this point forward. If you aren't willing to remove yourself from those conditions then you are just as much to blame for what is going on as your parents. You are 24 years old, and it is time for you to cut the strings on your own. Every second you choose to remain living in those conditions is by your own decision as it has been for the last so many years.

Do what you need to do and do it quickly. Don't waste time being pissed off at mom or dad. Just get hell out of that place. If you can't afford to go to school then work two jobs for a year or two until you can. If you can't afford housing then get room mates. If you can't afford a car, then ride the bus. For every problem their is at least 1 immediate solution with more to come avaliable in the future.

Again..

Don't waste you time trying to get revenge.

Don't be arsed to waste time trying to sue your parents.

Don't bugger around with taking recordings.

Don't feel the need to prove to the world, or at least your neighborhood, what your parents are like.

Because none of that matters. What matters is how soon the front is gonna slap your ass on the way out of it for the very last time.

Don't walk out.. run at full speed and don't ever look back.

I'm going back on sick leave. Only by the power of insomnia do I make this post.

[ZenAgent]

I can give you the administrator of PV's e-mail address, tell him what's going on and demand a full refund post haste.  Everyone with a post-PV problem should flood the guy with their issues...

[exhausted]

I can give you the administrator of PV's e-mail address, tell him what's going on and demand a full refund post haste.  Everyone with a post-PV problem should flood the guy with their issues...

What would this achieve in your opinion Zen? Would he care? Would the programs stop abusing kids for money? Would it make ex program kids' issues go away?

This is not a criticism of your post (sorry i am finding I have to be so careful what i say at the moment) I am genuinely interested in your take on this

[Anonymous]

I can give you the administrator of PV's e-mail address, tell him what's going on and demand a full refund post haste.  Everyone with a post-PV problem should flood the guy with their issues...

What would this achieve in your opinion Zen? Would he care? Would the programs stop abusing kids for money? Would it make ex program kids' issues go away?

This is not a criticism of your post (sorry i am finding I have to be so careful what i say at the moment) I am genuinely interested in your take on this

Hells no he wouldn't care, He is too busy spending money to make money. http://www.reclaiming.com/

[ZenAgent]

I can give you the administrator of PV's e-mail address, tell him what's going on and demand a full refund post haste.  Everyone with a post-PV problem should flood the guy with their issues...

What would this achieve in your opinion Zen? Would he care? Would the programs stop abusing kids for money? Would it make ex program kids' issues go away?

This is not a criticism of your post (sorry i am finding I have to be so careful what i say at the moment) I am genuinely interested in your take on this

No, but it would take it to him in a way this banter doesn't.  This rabbiting about is pointless.

I don't see anything productive going on.  A lot of in-fighting and whining like a bunch of cats.

[Anonymous]

sure it's easy for you to say?  and I didn't post three times?  I taped my mother today, as I was in my room trying, for the love of God to finish a paper.    I recently gave my dad a thousand dollars to pay for health care and living, so I don't have much.   They pressured me so much, I thought they would be nicer if I did.  They, like most abusive people, can be almost nice for pretty long periods of time then wham. I only work thirty hours a week at the most.  I locked my door because she wouldn't leave me alone, and I have all the horrible things she was saying on tape, and she almost broke the lock, it's pulled away from the wall, and I opened it for her as soon as she yelled.  I will move out this summer for sure, obviously, although I am disapointed I won't be able to finish college in a year.  I asked for more hours, so I could move out, but now I'm afraid I won't have time to study for exams, especially with holy hell raining down on my head.  I get sick of people acting all macho, just work two jobs and go to college?  I'm not a robot.  I worked eight hours till midnight last night, I have final exams, papers and abuse is not that easy to get away from. I'm not saying I shouldn't have done a thing or two different, but that's a bit like saying, well what were you doing there you asked for it.  I didn't choose this situation and it's hard to get away from abuse.   I think I should have some legal rights here.

[sick of child torture girl]

I really don't know anyone in the area my parents live?  I was engaged, so I lived with my fiance for four years.  When we broke it off, I moved into an apartment in an ok/ affordable neighborhood where I was assaulted.  Right after getting out of PV at eighteen, my mother was being her normal horrible self, and she kicked me out.  I moved in with a twenty seven year old who also wanted to get married. I had no where else to go and my parents gave me no money.  They were very supportive of me being with the twenty seven year old, my mother to this day says I broke his heart and such and he was the nicest quality person.  Now as an adult, still younger than him, I think it is sick and I don't see what a eighteen year old wife could possibly have to offer an adult?  When she kicked me out at eighteen, i had no car and the boyfriend left for work early so I had no way to get to my college classes.  I still need to retake a class from then to graduate, from the state school I had to transfer too.  I was going to an all womens private college but my father was such a bastard about the cost I had to transfer to the state school, which cost me time and credits.  It was implied that if I did I might get to move out but no luck.  
I can't live on campus beacause I am accepted as a continuing education adult student, probably because I have next to no highschool credits, I am afraid to list behavioral prison camp!!  I know literally no-one in the area my parents live, where I moved home too after being assaulted.  I am older then most of the kids in school and I don't talk about such things at work.  I live of campus and just go for classes, I work and go to school all the time.  I am simply going to start canvassing the area for potential roommates, they can't be worse than these.  My parents also gave me no money while I was living with fiance number two.  I get payed part time at work, so I get paid nothing and no health care, which my father bitches about all the time, even though I have given them over a thousand dollars sense Christmas.  I also still work about thirty hours a week.  I try to give them money but there is no change in their behavior.  I try to be nice, walk on eggshells and such, but they are still very abusive.  The only reason I moved home at all, assault or not is because my parents told me some big story about buying a condo to retire in that i could live in until they decided to move out of the house they have now.  It was a done deal, but of course got home, no condo.    If I want to finish in a year I have to go to school full time, or almost, and therefore, I can't afford to live.  I need a roommate ASAP, I think, then I could almost afford to live.  My parents again, have a brand new sixty thousand dollar Mercedes, we are hardly poor although the way my father acts, you would think we are destitute.  I've been reading a great book on brainwashing and wow do they ever use it in places like PV, my family is like the Soviet KGB what fun.  I am terrified of these people, and I already have post traumatic stress.  You know how you feel when you have butterflies in your stomach, I feel like that all the time.  I feel really scared all the time, I have this hollow feeling right between my rib cage, not some I am hollow inside melodrama, the feeling you get when you stand on the high dive and look down, It's a big ball of anxiety.  I can't sleep I have nightmares, so I am exhausted a lot and I have my psycho mother, bursting into my room to yell about trash bags, or everytime I go downstairs to eat picking at how I take the milk out of the fridge, I'm not exagerating, it's five things everytime I go down to get food. not normal nagging, it's violent and everytime I say anything it gets really violent. she stands really close to you too,  I'm neat too, so she has nothing to yell about but she does anyway, anyone you can find something if you look hard enough?  I have only stayed here because It thought I could put up with it till I graduated, but I forgot how horrible they are, I think we want to believe our family are good people, but I have realized  these people are not anything like good people, I am having trouble even seeing the good in them.  THis actully is good I feel less guilty, not because I want to, I was always ready to take all the guilt and have them be ok, but because they are so over the top even denial can't ignore them.  Interestingly too, and I am not nuts, my computer crashed! The exact same thing happened last time I tried to post stuff about PV.  For no reason, I don't down load music or anything.  It didn't even catch a virus it just crashed, it won't even turn on now, although it froze for a while, I have access to other computers though of course.  What does that mean? nothing I guess although it seems to much coincidence for it to have happened twice when I posted stuff about PV, over a period of time?  It doesn't crash for no reason any other time?  Is that possible? It can't be?  I would be careful though what I say anywhere, though.

I want you to know that what I'm about to post shouldn't be taken as a personal attack in anyway. Please take this into consideration when you read the following post.

It doesn't matter what your parents did. It doesn't matter what they are doing now. It doesn't matter what they have parked out in the driveway. It doesn't matter how many times you have been engaged, or what colleges you have gone to.

What matters is what you do from this point forward. If you aren't willing to remove yourself from those conditions then you are just as much to blame for what is going on as your parents. You are 24 years old, and it is time for you to cut the strings on your own. Every second you choose to remain living in those conditions is by your own decision as it has been for the last so many years.

Do what I want you to do and do it quickly. Don't waste time being pissed off at mom or dad. Just get hell out of that place. If you can't afford to go to school then work two jobs for a year or two until you can. If you can't afford housing then get room mates. If you can't afford a car, then ride the bus. For every problem their is at least 1 immediate solution with more to come avaliable in the future.

Again..

Don't waste you time trying to get revenge.

Don't be arsed to waste time trying to sue your parents.

Don't bugger around with taking recordings.

Don't feel the need to prove to the world, or at least your neighborhood, what your parents are like.

Because none of that matters. What matters is how soon the front is gonna slap your ass on the way out of it for the very last time.

Don't walk out.. run at full speed and don't ever look back.

I'm going back on sick leave. Only by the power of insomnia do I make this post.

Again its a case of easier said than done. People get damaged. I think its clear by reading this girls writings that she has alot of issues. Mentally, she is not in place where she can simply cut the strings. And there are a lot of legitimate limitations on what she can do. People dont stay in miserable situations because they want to.
Its like exhausted said- getting institutionalized in your own home.

You know those kids that end up staying their entire lives in program its something like that.

However, leaving home is what is needed  or all these problems will just get worse. Run dont walk

[exhausted]

How did she break the lock if you opened it for her?

I do think your only option is to work every hour and do college, i know it sounds like a tough task but it can be done if you want it enough ... i was working a bar at night until 2 am, driving home, doing some Uni work, getting up and working from 8-1 the next morning, more Uni work, goin to evening college twice a week and looking after 4 kids and running a household, I still cooked every meal and kept the place spotless, okay i was fried as I did this for 3 years, I ended up suffering from exhaustion, but I got my degree at the end of it, it was worth it - you have the option of not having to clean up after kids and only looking out for yourself, really you need to move, do it tomorrow

[Anonymous]

sure it's easy for you to say?  and I didn't post three times?  I taped my mother today, as I was in my room trying, for the love of God to finish a paper.    I recently gave my dad a thousand dollars to pay for health care and living, so I don't have much.   They pressured me so much, I thought they would be nicer if I did.  They, like most abusive people, can be almost nice for pretty long periods of time then wham. I only work thirty hours a week at the most.  I locked my door because she wouldn't leave me alone, and I have all the horrible things she was saying on tape, and she almost broke the lock, it's pulled away from the wall, and I opened it for her as soon as she yelled.  I will move out this summer for sure, obviously, although I am disapointed I won't be able to finish college in a year.  I asked for more hours, so I could move out, but now I'm afraid I won't have time to study for exams, especially with holy hell raining down on my head.  I get sick of people acting all macho, just work two jobs and go to college?  I'm not a robot.  I worked eight hours till midnight last night, I have final exams, papers and abuse is not that easy to get away from. I'm not saying I shouldn't have done a thing or two different, but that's a bit like saying, well what were you doing there you asked for it.  I didn't choose this situation and it's hard to get away from abuse.   I think I should have some legal rights here.

No dearie... Move out now. I think what is being said is if you continue to tolerate it you are just as responsible for it. Perhaps you ought to consider putting off going to college for a year while working two jobs like was originally stated.

Like the other two said.. don't walk.. run.

[Anonymous]

I can give you the administrator of PV's e-mail address, tell him what's going on and demand a full refund post haste.  Everyone with a post-PV problem should flood the guy with their issues...

What would this achieve in your opinion Zen? Would he care? Would the programs stop abusing kids for money? Would it make ex program kids' issues go away?

This is not a criticism of your post (sorry i am finding I have to be so careful what i say at the moment) I am genuinely interested in your take on this

No, but it would take it to him in a way this banter doesn't.  This rabbiting about is pointless.

I don't see anything productive going on.  A lot of in-fighting and whining like a bunch of cats.

Post it! I'll take it over to the 4chan's image board and have them do a bit of an email/phone troll on him. Not saying those lazy /b/tards will do it, but if you get them worked up enough they will do just about anything for good old fashioned internet asshattery.

[Anonymous]

also it's real easy for a guy to say just live anywhere, if I were male, i would still be living in my apartment in my ok/ crappy neighborhood. That set me back a whole semester; this is going to set me back even more. I'm never going to graduate.  I hate men, nobody tries to molest them.  With me it's everywhere. I can't even walk in the park without my mother telling me I'm asking for it, I got that on the tape today too, and it's not just what she says.   I was flashed in the park at 2:20 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, but I was asking for it according to mommy dearest.  So I was flashed and assaulted in one year, and I work in a library and go to college all the time, I'm not out drinking or something, then I would really be "asking for it".  This really makes me want to move into some "affordable" apartment again. The fun part is this world is so incredibly sexist and horrible, not to mention the Village way of thinking, sexual prejudice and such, that of course I must be lying or something.  I know I'm not though, I know everything I'm saying is true, for what it's worth.  I need a few nice girl roommates but I don't know anyone in this town and when you grab roommates from anywhere you get lots of fun stuff.

[Anonymous]

I really don't have any where to run to, Also running in the past just gets me stuck, out of the frying pan there are fires, bad apartments and nasty husbands.  you are right though, I need to not just go along and stay here, I have to move out as soon as the semester is over, sorry to be defensive.